Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Fish in a Drawer (2008)

Michael Lowry: Wes Tosterone

Quotes 

• Evelyn Harper : Ugh! What is that? Non-dairy creamer? Just take me to the Green Mile and be done with it.

  Wes Tosterone : It's all we got.

  Evelyn Harper : Oh, please! All these cops around, one of them can't make a Starbucks run?

• Evelyn Harper : There was lipstick on his hoo-hoo.

  Wes Tosterone : Your lipstick?

  Evelyn Harper : Oh, God, no. I'd rather drink your coffee.

  Wes Tosterone : So, he was with another woman.

  Evelyn Harper : Not necessarily.

  Wes Tosterone : Do you have another theory for where the lipstick came from?

  Evelyn Harper : Have you ruled out clowns? You should check for really big footprints.

• Sloane Jagov : [checking the crime scene, a.k.a. Charlie's bedroom, for semen with a special light]  My... God!

  Wes Tosterone : It's like a Jackson Pollock painting!

  Charlie Harper : The ceiling fan is actually a cute story.

• Berta : I'm warning you, coffee tends to shoot through me. So, if you've got a cavity search planned, you better do it pretty quick.

  Wes Tosterone : We don't need to do a cavity search.

  Berta : Can I request one?

  Wes Tosterone : What do you know about Teddy Leopold?

  Berta : I know he was hot for me. He was always flirting.