Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Fish in a Drawer (2008)

Holland Taylor: Evelyn Harper

Quotes 

• Evelyn Harper : Ugh! What is that? Non-dairy creamer? Just take me to the Green Mile and be done with it.

  Wes Tosterone : It's all we got.

  Evelyn Harper : Oh, please! All these cops around, one of them can't make a Starbucks run?

• Evelyn Harper : There was lipstick on his hoo-hoo.

  Wes Tosterone : Your lipstick?

  Evelyn Harper : Oh, God, no. I'd rather drink your coffee.

  Wes Tosterone : So, he was with another woman.

  Evelyn Harper : Not necessarily.

  Wes Tosterone : Do you have another theory for where the lipstick came from?

  Evelyn Harper : Have you ruled out clowns? You should check for really big footprints.

• Evelyn Harper : Jake, how many times do I have to tell you? Do not eat the cake until they cut it!

  Jake Harper : But, I'm hungry! What am I supposed to do?

  Evelyn Harper : Eat some cheese.

  Jake Harper : So, I can cut the cheese? Get it?