30 Rock (TV Series)

Kidney Now! (2009)

Alec Baldwin: Jack Donaghy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Liz Lemon : We sure had quite a year.

  [slaps Jack on the back] 

  Jack Donaghy : What are you talking about? It's May.

• Jack Donaghy : Ok, lets cut to the chase. MJ, you owe me. Who got you out of a 20-year exclusive performance contract at SeaWorld?

  [Mary J. Blige rolls her eyes in defeat] 

  Jack Donaghy : Aiken, your cousin Kenneth Parcell already promised me you'd do this.

  [Clay Aiken rolls his eyes in disgust] 

  Jack Donaghy : And Elvis, or should I say Declan MacManus, international art thief?

  Elvis Costello : Ok Jack Donaghy, you tumbled me. We'll do it.

• Jack Donaghy : Milton needs a kidney.

  Liz Lemon : Milton, as in your dad?

  Jack Donaghy : My dad? I don't know this guy. Professor Milton Greene, who's writing a three-volume biography of Jimmy Carter, and with my kidney he could finish it!

  Liz Lemon : What're you gonna do?

  Jack Donaghy : Don't know. He's too old for the waiting list, and since Giuliani left it's gotten tougher to harvest hobo organs.

• Jack Donaghy : I'm getting Milton Greene a kidney.

  Liz Lemon : You're a match?

  Jack Donaghy : No, I'm not.

  Liz Lemon : Where are you gonna get a kidney from?

  Jack Donaghy : I don't know, but I have the entire liberal media establishment at my disposal. The same manipulation machine that got people to vote for Obama and donate all that money after Rainstorm Katrina. I'm going to use that to find my dad a kidney.

  Jenna Maroney : You should do a celebrity concert. Like that gay guy did to benefit old gays.

  Jack Donaghy : A benefit concert like "We Are the World." Or "Weird Al" Yankovic's less successful parody benefit, "We Are the Pizza."

• Jack Donaghy : I haven't seen that many riled-up dirtbags since CVS put the cold medicine behind the counter.