Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (TV Series)

Swing (2008)

Ellen Burstyn: Bernie Stabler

Photos 

Quotes 

• Detective Olivia Benson : Did you ever try medication?

  Bernie Stabler : Once. I got into a fight with my husband and his gun went off, he had me committed. They tied me down and forced pills down my throat. I felt like a shell, like somebody had reached inside of me and scooped out my soul. I would rather die than ever go back there.

• Kathleen Stabler : Grams, do you think I'm crazy?

  Bernie Stabler : Do you feel crazy?

  Kathleen Stabler : I don't know. It's like the world is full of all these ding-a-ling force fields and every time I touch one, I shimmer.

  Bernie Stabler : Yeah, and sometimes just the thought of getting out of bed makes you so tired, you feel like you need a 12 hour nap?

  Kathleen Stabler : Yeah. How did you know?

  Bernie Stabler : [smiles]  That's the price we pay for greatness.

• Bernie Stabler : My mother used to call me a flibberty jibbit. I've been accused of being impulsive, irresponsible, flighty, and those are just the G-rated words.

• Detective Olivia Benson : Did you ever see a doctor?

  Bernie Stabler : You have to understand, in my day, eccentricity was tolerated, today they give you pills for everything.

• Kathleen Stabler : Dad hates me.

  Bernie Stabler : No he doesn't. Trust me. If he did he'd just walk out of your life.

  Kathleen Stabler : I'm in jail! He put me here!

  Bernie Stabler : No, you put yourself here.

• Detective Olivia Benson : The earliest picture I saw of Elliot was when he graduated the police academy.

  Bernie Stabler : Oh yeah, he tried to erase his childhood. He tries to pretend I never existed. He would've preferred a more conventional mother.

  Detective Olivia Benson : He turned into a fine man and I know him well enough to know he didn't get that from his father.

  Bernie Stabler : Thank you, dear.

• Bernie Stabler : [meeting Olivia]  I can see why you scare the pants off of Kathy. I was always grateful there were no women cops in my day, but Joe made do with chasing nurses.

• Kathleen Stabler : Are you going to yell at me too?

  Bernie Stabler : Me? Your partner in crime?

• Detective Elliot Stabler : The minute Dad dies, you sell the house and move here.

  Bernie Stabler : What was I supposed to do, get on my knees and say my rosary and pray for his immortal soul?

  Detective Elliot Stabler : He sure as hell needed it.

  Bernie Stabler : [laughs]  And then some.

• Bernie Stabler : [telling Kathleen about driving she and Elliot through a blizzard in 1969]  We were the only car on the road. I felt like I was driving this magical sleigh. I started going faster. I felt like I was chasing the snowflakes. Your daddy was yelling 'stop mommy, stop!', but I was chasing snowflakes, and I chased them right into a lamp post. I totaled the car, and I broke your daddy's arm.

  Kathleen Stabler : He never told me about that.

  Bernie Stabler : No, he never told anybody what really happened. You see, Kathleen, there's no shame in making mistakes, we all have, but do you do have to take responsibility for what you've done.

• Bernie Stabler : Remember the time we took your grandfather's fedora to put on the snowman, and his last Cuban cigar?

  Kathleen Stabler : Gramps was pretty pissed. I remember you told him to get stuffed.

  Bernie Stabler : Well, I tried not to curse in front of you.

  Kathleen Stabler : As if the F-bomb doesn't get dropped at my house a lot, especially at me.