The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Panty Piñata Polarization (2008)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard Hofstadter : [about the Next Top Model house] Are you insane? You're not going to party with them. You're not even going to get anywhere near that place.
Howard Wolowitz : That's what they said to Neil Armstrong abut the moon.
Sheldon Cooper : No one said anything of the kind to Neil Armstrong. The entire nation dedicated a decade of effort and treasure to put a man on the moon.
Howard Wolowitz : Well, my fellow Americans, before this year is out, we will put a Wolowitz on one of America's top models.
Rajesh Koothrappali : And a large number of people will believe it never happened.
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Howard Wolowitz : Every week they kick out a beautiful girl, making her feel unwanted and without self-esteem... a.k.a, the future Mrs. Howard Wolowitz.
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Sheldon Cooper : Excuse me, Penny, but we're...
Leonard Hofstadter : No, don't tell her!
Sheldon Cooper : ...playing Klingon Boggle.
Leonard Hofstadter : Awww...
Howard Wolowitz : What do you mean "aww," like she didn't know we were nerds?
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Howard Wolowitz : Oh, look, there's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. No, wait, that's the future Mrs. Wolowitz, with her head in the lap of - eh, what a coincidence - the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother. The current Mrs. Wolowitz.
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Penny : [taking the guys' orders at Cheesecake Factory] Okay, let me guess: Quesadilla with soy cheese for the lactose-intolerant Leonard...
Leonard Hofstadter : Thank you.
Penny : ...shrimp Caesar salad with no almonds for the highly-allergic, kosher-only-on-the-high-holidays Howard...
[Howard nods]
Penny : ... and for our suddenly-back-on-the-Hindu-wagon Raj: meat lovers' pizza; no meat.
[Raj bows to her]
Penny : Coming right up.
[She starts to leave]
Sheldon Cooper : Wait, excuse me!
[Penny stops]
Sheldon Cooper : You forgot my barbecue bacon cheeseburger; barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side.
Penny : Oh, I didn't tell you? You're banished from the Cheesecake Factory.
Sheldon Cooper : Why?
Penny : Well, you have three strikes. One, coming in; two, sitting down; and three, I don't like your attitude.
Sheldon Cooper : You can't do that. Not only is it a violation of California State law, it flies directly in the face of Cheesecake Factory policy.
Penny : Yeah, I know; there's a new policy: no shoes, no shirt, no Sheldon.
Howard Wolowitz : [softly, to Raj] I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena.
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Leonard Hofstadter : For the record, what you guys are doing is really creepy.
Howard Wolowitz : You know what? If it's "creepy" to use the internet, military satellites and robot aircraft to find a house full of gorgeous young models so that I can drop in on them unexpectedly, then fine, I'm creepy.
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Sheldon Cooper : [in a computer message] Hello, puny insects. As a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will, Everyone is awarded one additional strike.
Leonard Hofstadter : Thanks a lot, Howard.
Howard Wolowitz : What are you complaining about? I'm the one who has to take the class again.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [referring to the strikes Sheldon gave her] Don't worry, they only stay on your record for a year.
Howard Wolowitz : You can get them removed early, but you have to take his class.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a supervillain.
Penny : I don't care. I was in Junior Rodeo. I can hogtie and castrate him in sixty seconds.
Howard Wolowitz : No need to neuter the nerd, I can get you back online.
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Sheldon Cooper : Penny, I wish I could be more lenient with you, but since you've become a member of our social group I have to hold you to the same high standards as everybody else.
Leonard Hofstadter : Congratulations, you're officially one of us.
Howard Wolowitz : [chanting] One of us! One of us!
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[last lines]
Howard Wolowitz : [about a model] She's taller than all of the women in my family combined.
Rajesh Koothrappali : What do we do now?
Howard Wolowitz : [another model walks by] Follow Mrs. Wolowitz.
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Howard Wolowitz : Sadly, Mrs. Giselle Wolowitz is sensitive to chlorine.
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Penny : Hey guys, what'd I miss? What'd I miss?
Howard Wolowitz : Giselle's hangin' by a thread.
Penny : Oh good. I hate her.
Howard Wolowitz : Then you're not invited to our wedding.
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Howard Wolowitz : You're telling me that I'm within driving distance of a house filled with aspiring supermodels?
Penny : Yeah, I guess.
Howard Wolowitz : And they live together, and shower together, and have naked pillow fights.
[Penny starts to leave]
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, where are you going?
Penny : To pay my cable bill.
