The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Panty Piñata Polarization (2008)
Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny : Yeah, well, your "ken" can kiss my Barbie.
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Leonard Hofstadter : [about the Next Top Model house] Are you insane? You're not going to party with them. You're not even going to get anywhere near that place.
Howard Wolowitz : That's what they said to Neil Armstrong abut the moon.
Sheldon Cooper : No one said anything of the kind to Neil Armstrong. The entire nation dedicated a decade of effort and treasure to put a man on the moon.
Howard Wolowitz : Well, my fellow Americans, before this year is out, we will put a Wolowitz on one of America's top models.
Rajesh Koothrappali : And a large number of people will believe it never happened.
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Sheldon Cooper : Excuse me, Penny, but we're...
Leonard Hofstadter : No, don't tell her!
Sheldon Cooper : ...playing Klingon Boggle.
Leonard Hofstadter : Awww...
Howard Wolowitz : What do you mean "aww," like she didn't know we were nerds?
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Sheldon Cooper : You're sitting in my spot.
Penny : Oh, gee... you gotta be kidding me.
Sheldon Cooper : Leonard, she's in my spot.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, yeah. Uh... see, here's the thing: after you leave, I still have to live with him.
Penny : I don't care. I'm taking a stand. Metaphorically.
Sheldon Cooper : All right, that's it. Strike three.
Penny : Oooh! Strike three!
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Penny : [taking the guys' orders at Cheesecake Factory] Okay, let me guess: Quesadilla with soy cheese for the lactose-intolerant Leonard...
Leonard Hofstadter : Thank you.
Penny : ...shrimp Caesar salad with no almonds for the highly-allergic, kosher-only-on-the-high-holidays Howard...
[Howard nods]
Penny : ... and for our suddenly-back-on-the-Hindu-wagon Raj: meat lovers' pizza; no meat.
[Raj bows to her]
Penny : Coming right up.
[She starts to leave]
Sheldon Cooper : Wait, excuse me!
[Penny stops]
Sheldon Cooper : You forgot my barbecue bacon cheeseburger; barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side.
Penny : Oh, I didn't tell you? You're banished from the Cheesecake Factory.
Sheldon Cooper : Why?
Penny : Well, you have three strikes. One, coming in; two, sitting down; and three, I don't like your attitude.
Sheldon Cooper : You can't do that. Not only is it a violation of California State law, it flies directly in the face of Cheesecake Factory policy.
Penny : Yeah, I know; there's a new policy: no shoes, no shirt, no Sheldon.
Howard Wolowitz : [softly, to Raj] I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena.
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Penny : What was my first strike?
Sheldon Cooper : March 18th. You violated my rule about forwarding e-mail humor.
Penny : I did?
Sheldon Cooper : The photo of a cat who wants to "haz cheezburger"?
Penny : Oh, come on, everyone loves LOLcats. They're cute, and they can't spell, 'cause they're cats.
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Sheldon Cooper : [in a computer message] Hello, puny insects. As a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will, Everyone is awarded one additional strike.
Leonard Hofstadter : Thanks a lot, Howard.
Howard Wolowitz : What are you complaining about? I'm the one who has to take the class again.
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Sheldon Cooper : Penny, I wish I could be more lenient with you, but since you've become a member of our social group I have to hold you to the same high standards as everybody else.
Leonard Hofstadter : Congratulations, you're officially one of us.
Howard Wolowitz : [chanting] One of us! One of us!
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Penny : [Referring to her underwear] How the hell did you get them up on that telephone wire?
Sheldon Cooper : When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add, "Mwah, ha, ha."
Penny : Get them down.
Sheldon Cooper : Apologize.
Penny : Never!
Sheldon Cooper : Well, then, may I suggest you get a very long stick and play panty pinata.
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[Penny has innocently taken an onion ring from Sheldon's plate of food]
Penny : I didn't know. I'm sorry.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, I'm sorry, but that is your second strike.
Penny : What?
Sheldon Cooper : You have two strikes. Three strikes, and you're out.
[Penny looks at him blankly]
Sheldon Cooper : It's a sports metaphor.
Penny : A sports metaphor?
Sheldon Cooper : Yes, baseball.
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Sheldon Cooper : Penny.
Penny : Yes?
Sheldon Cooper : Well played.
Penny : Thank you.
Sheldon Cooper : Just remember: with great power comes great responsibility.
Penny : Understood.
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Penny : And thanks to Sheldon's heated discussion with my manager, one barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue sauce, bacon, and cheese on the side.
Sheldon Cooper : Thank you.
Penny : Go ahead, eat it. I dare you.
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Sheldon Cooper : Greetings hamburger toucher. You are probably wondering why you cannot IM with your little friends about how much you heart various things. Well, this recorded message is alerting you that I am putting an end to your parasitic piggy-backing upon our WiFi.
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Penny : Oh, no, are all the machines taken? What are you gonna do?
Sheldon Cooper : No problem, I'll just do my laundry another night.
Penny : Another night? Well, I guess you can try, but deep inside your heart, you'll know that laundry night is always Saturday night.
