Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

The Two Finger Rule (2009)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Quotes 

• Charlie Harper : What are you guys talking about?

  Dr. Herb Melnick : Masturbating at the YMCA.

  Charlie Harper : Really? Just talk, right?

  Alan Harper : Yeah, but the night is young.

• Charlie Harper : Sure you don't want a drink?

  Alan Harper : Drinking alcohol just makes me depressed.

  Charlie Harper : See, the trick is to drink past that. It's not a sprint, it's a marathon.

• Chelsea : Can you explain this, Charlie?

  Charlie Harper : I'd love to.

  Chelsea : I'm waiting.

  Charlie Harper : I can't. That's why I said I'd love to.

• Charlie Harper : [to Chelsea, who is leaving]  Don't go!

  Alan Harper : [to Melissa, over the phone]  Don't hang up!

  Charlie Harper , Alan Harper : I love you!

  [Both look at each other] 

  Berta : And I love you, too.

• Dr. Herb Melnick : I could get used to this.

  Charlie Harper : Don't.

  Alan Harper : As far as Charlie's concerned, "mi casa es mi casa".