It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

Mac and Dennis: Manhunters (2008)

Kaitlin Olson: Dee Reynolds

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlie Kelly : [Charlie and Dee examine bodies in a morgue]  These are two dead bodies.

  Dee Reynolds : They're dead. Two dead guys.

  Charlie Kelly : This is the real deal here.

  Dee Reynolds : [Examining African American specimen]  I don't think I can eat this guy.

  Charlie Kelly : I don't think I can, right? Why is that?

  Dee Reynolds : I don't know.

  Charlie Kelly : It's not because he's black, though, right?

  Dee Reynolds : Of course not... I don't think so... No.

  Charlie Kelly : It's because he's dead, right?

  Dee Reynolds : It's because he's dead, that's why not.

  Charlie Kelly : Good, good, good.

  [pause] 

  Charlie Kelly : I've got a question for you: is it racist if we don't eat this guy?

  Dee Reynolds : Well, shit, Charlie. Now it is.

  Charlie Kelly : I'm sorry, Dee.

  [walking over to white specimen] 

  Charlie Kelly : The white guy over here looks better to me for some reason.

  Dee Reynolds : So much better, doesn't he? What is that?

  Charlie Kelly : You know what it is? Generally, I don't eat dark meat.

  Dee Reynolds : I prefer the white meat. I always have.

  Charlie Kelly : It's not that guy. It's this guy.

  Dee Reynolds : The problem is: I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals *and* we're racists.

  Dee Reynolds : We're not, Dee. Cannibalism? Racism? Dee, that's not for us. You know? Those are the decisions that are best left to the suits in Washington. Okay? We're just here to eat some dude.

  Dee Reynolds : You lost me with Washington, but the rest I agree with. So let's eat a peace of this guy.

  Charlie Kelly : [long, apprehensive pause]  I can't do it.

  Dee Reynolds : No. Me neither.

  Charlie Kelly : The goods news is, I guess this means we're not racist.

• Frank Reynolds : Ah I see you two are enjoying my meat. I was just buying some wine. A nice port to compliment what you two have just eaten. By the way, you know what you've just eaten right?

  Dee Reynolds : Was it venison?

  Frank Reynolds : You WISH it was venison!

  Charlie Kelly : What is it then?

  Frank Reynolds : THAT which you have just eaten, which your taste buds have savored, which your teeth have just torn apart, THAT is human meat.

• Frank Reynolds : [Charlie and Dee are discussing where to get some human meat from Frank]  That wasn't human meat! It was raccoon meat. You probably got a tapeworm, that stuff is loaded with parasites!

  Charlie Kelly : [Charlie starts laughing hysterically]  Raccoon meat! BULLSHIT!

  Dee Reynolds : Oh yes Frank, we're gonna go get some of that human meat of yours!

  Charlie Kelly : [brandishing a butcher knife]  I'M GONNA CHOP A PIECE OF THAT FAT LITTLE CALF MUSCLE OF YOURS AND I'M GONNA EAT IT! GET HIM!

  [Charlie and Dee chase after Frank] 

  Mac : And the hunt is on once again.

  Dennis Reynolds : Oh those two are gonna have so much fun.

  [Dennis goes and locks the door] 

  Mac : Yes indeed. But the question still remains with what to do with Mr. Cricket.

  Dennis Reynolds : Yup Mac, it's just us now. Just you and me, and a couple of pairs of sour, sweaty balls.