Madballs: Gross Jokes (1987 Video)

Keith Hampshire: Hornhead, British Narrator

Quotes 

• Announcer : Presenting, by special request: Mr. Hornhead's big musical number.

  Hornhead : Wait a minute! I didn't say nothing about no musical number.

  [stutters nervously] 

  Hornhead : W-W-Wait a minute, I don't know how to sing.

  [starts nervously shifting about on stage] 

  Hornhead : Uh... uh... uh...

  [nervous shifting becomes more like dancing and Hornhead starts singing to the tune of "Ten Little Indians"] 

  Hornhead : Boils and warts and piggy's feet, these are things that I love to eat, slugs and snails and millipedes, and don't forget the tainted meat. Yogurt, pitch and turkey giblets, tofu square and cockroach tidbits, fungus plants and dry toast, no jam, earthworms on some jellied ham. Chopped liver, flies and rats are thrilling, germ warfare, sperm if you are willing, spiders, frogs and cats are filling, bed sores, bacon...

  [immediately stops singing] 

  Hornhead : All right, enough already, I'll never ask for another line for the rest of my life, just let me out of this mess.