Take (I) (2008)

Yasha Shrimpton: Mary

Quotes 

• Jim : I can't believe I never knew you lived around here.

  Mary : Well, I don't think it ever really came up, did it?

  Jim : Yeah, we never really mentioned it.

  Mary : To be honest, I don't think we've ever had a conversation that's lasted more than, what, two, three minutes tops. At parties it's always "Hey, how are you doing?" "Have you done the revision or the tutorial work"?

  Jim : Well, those are tried and tested conversation starters. They may not be riveting, but they do at least get the ball rolling.

  Mary : True, true.

  Jim : The weather - that's another classic.

  Mary : Oh yeah, where would us Brits be if we couldn't talk about the weather? Our chit-chatting abilities would be out the window.

  Jim : Exactly. We'd be lost, like... people without maps. Or sat-nav's.

• Mary : So, do you know anyone who didn't graduate?

  Jim : The only one I know who didn't graduate was Jeff.

  Mary : Jeff, was he a mate of yours?

  Jim : ...Yeah, yeah, we were friends. We used to hang out in the library and the cafeteria and stuff. I was actually... I lived with him in halls in the first year; he was in the room next to mine. He used to drag me out partying with him and clubbing all the time. It's partly why I moved out. I can't stand clubbing.

  Mary : So, he didn't do the year?

  Jim : No, he... I don't think he failed everything, I just don't think he passed enough overall to pass... overall! I think he got a 'compensated fail' - whatever that means.

  Mary : That's a bit of a shame.

  Jim : ...Yeah. I mean, He didn't exactly work very hard, but it's still a shame.

  Mary : Was he really upset about it?

  Jim : I haven't actually really spoken to him since the exams.

  Mary : Do you know if he's going to redo the year?

  Jim : I don't know. I mean... I assume so.

• Mary : You know what's it like. Every lecture the teacher would be asking loads of questions and there'd be that long silence, it'd just drive me absolutely mental. So, of course, I would answer all the questions just to keep the ball rolling. You know what it's like, it feeds on itself. You know, because I answer all the questions, after a while the teachers would always come to me for the answers.

  Jim : They'd only ask you. Yeah, I noticed that.

  Mary : Yeah. And after a while it felt like I was having private tutorial lessons and everyone else was just there to watch.

  Jim : Well, I enjoyed watching, if that's any consolation.

  Mary : Yeah, but you know those idiots in the back, they didn't have to do any of the work. And everyone looks at me with the evil eye as if I'm Martin fucking Prince.

  Jim : "Pick me, teacher. I'm ever so smart."

  Mary : Exactly! But I'm not! I don't think I'm smarter than they are. I just do the homework. If they just did the homework they could answer the questions and I could have had a break.

  Jim : Well, on behalf of everyone who didn't always do the work, we're sorry.

• Jim : [they arrive at Jim's estate]  This is me.

  Mary : Oh, right.

  Jim : Do you want to come in for a drink? I mean, it's still early. I can't in all good conscience let you walk home this early.

  Mary : Irresponsible.

  Jim : It would be. Come on. I've got Jaffa cakes.

  Mary : Now how can I say no to Jaffa cakes. Oh, go on then.

  Jim : Attagirl.

  Mary : [pause]  You better have Jaffa cakes. Seriously.

  Jim : I do, I do.

  Mary : [they enter the estate]  Mm, nice place.

  Jim : Thank you. I'm glad you approve. You notice the big tree? It's been here since it was... planted. Except for the bite that's been taken out of it.

  Mary : Not a literal bite, I hope.

  Jim : Well, I was locked out and I was hungry. What can I say?

  [they enter Jim's house] 

  Jim : Here we are.

  Mary : Mm, nice house.

  Jim : There is more to it than this. You do realize this is just the hallway?

• Mary : [notices a young picture of Jim]  Oh my God! Is this you?

  Jim : [sighs]  ... Yes.

  Mary : Look at you in your glasses - you look like the Milkybar kid!

  Jim : Thank you, I was called that quite a lot when I was a child. That and Macaulay Culkin. I'd repressed it until now, but now it's afresh so thank you for opening up old wounds.