Just Swipe (2021)

Jodie Sweetin: Vanessa

Quotes 

• Claire : I need an article about '90s TV shows. Vanessa, why don't you do it? You grew up watching them.

  Vanessa : I'm only nine years older than you.

  Claire : Ten.

  Vanessa : Whatevs.

  Claire : See? That's something old people say. Like 'lit.' or 'fam.' or 'Facebook.'

• Brandon : I keep having these moments where I realize certain things are just gone forever. Like toasting.

  Vanessa : Jesus. You're right. We used to touch our glasses together and then drink from them.

  Brandon : We used to literally blow out candles all over a cake that we cut up and distributed to children.

• Vanessa : I can't believe how clear the sky is. I swear to God I see stars.

  Brandon : Maybe that's why this all happened. So the earth could take a deep, long breath without us humans screwing it up like we always do.

  Vanessa : What if Covid is the earth's immune system and we're the virus?

  Brandon : Whoa.

• Vanessa : I don't find bald men sexy. Never have. I can't get past the whole Mr. Clean thing.

  Donna : Mr. Clean is frickin' HAWT.

  Miles : And you KNOW his place is spotless.

• Vanessa : There's something so weird about no-contact trick-or-treating.

  Brandon : The kids don't care as long as they get their candy. They actually prefer it. No small talk.

• Miles : Puzzles are for children and the elderly. If I wanted to spend hours looking for something I can just put my tablet pen down somewhere for a second, thanks.

  Vanessa : They're called tabs and slots. The parts of a puzzle piece. I had to write a blog post about them.

  Miles : Was it for "Oh My God, Nobody Cares!" magazine?

• Brandon : I've watched every video on the Internet. Every single one.

  Vanessa : I haven't worn a bra in weeks.

  Brandon : Me neither!

  Vanessa : I went to go get something out of my purse yesterday and I was like "Oh, yeah, we used to have purses."

  Brandon : Pretty sure my shoes think I died.

• Vanessa : Why is it so hard to find a good guy?

  Monica : You aren't looking for a good guy. You're looking for a perfect guy. They don't exist.

  Vanessa : I'm not allowed to have a type? Everyone has a type.

  Monica : Yes. Everyone has a type. I like guys who aren't afraid to cry and who know when I need them to leave so I can watch "Outlander." You don't have a type. You have a gauntlet.

• Brandon : I lied about something.

  Vanessa : OK...

  Brandon : I don't have day and night pajamas. What I actually have is inside pajamas and outside pajamas.

  Vanessa : And those are?

  Brandon : Outside pajamas, of course. What kind of Neanderthal would greet a lady in his inside pajamas?

• Donna : Why are you even on a dating app? It's not like you can meet anybody in person. I heard you can get the virus through your eyes. YOUR EYES. We can't even look at it.

  Vanessa : You probably have to get it on your hands and rub your eyes.

  Donna : That's what it wants you to think.

• Vanessa : Guys. You're being psycho.

  Brandon : I think it's sweet. A little psycho, but they obviously care about you very much. And I don't blame them, because you're wonderful.

  Donna : Fun fact. Ted Bundy was one of the most charming guys you'd ever meet.

  Vanessa : That fact is not fun.