Desperate Housewives (TV Series)

If It's Only in Your Head (2009)

Charlie Carver: Porter Scavo

Quotes 

• [Tom gets into college] 

  Parker Scavo : I can help you study if you want.

  Tom Scavo : I'm not sure how much help you're gonna be. I'm majoring in Chinese.

  Preston Scavo : I know how to say "Take me to a strip bar" in Mandarin.

  Lynette Scavo : I'm so proud. Porter aren't you gonna congratulate your father.

  Porter Scavo : Congratulations on ruining my life. If you see me on campus you're not allowed to talk to me.

• [Gaby wonders how Ana got the house clean so fast and then the Scavo twins come down the stairs] 

  Porter Scavo : We finished upstairs Ana!

  Preston Scavo : Anything else you need done?

  Ana Solis : They wanted to hang out but I had chores to do, so they insisted on helping me. Aren't they sweet!

  Parker Scavo : [Comes in with a brush and cleaning gloves]  Hey, um, I'm not bragging, and I don't recommend it, but you could so eat out of your downstairs toilet.

  Gabrielle Solis : Ok boys thanks for your hard work but maybe it's time to go home and take a shower. Preferably a cold one.

  Ana Solis : Bye Preston!

  Porter Scavo : I'm Porter.

  Preston Scavo : I'm Preston.

  Parker Scavo : Oh, you can call me whatever you want!

• Lynette Scavo : [Preston, Porter and Lynette help a drunk Tom inside]  Ok, easy easy, you're a little drunk there.

  Tom Scavo : [kiss Lynette]  That's cause I love you Lynette

  Lynette Scavo : I love you to baby, there you go.

  Tom Scavo : [turns to Porter still helping him]  And I love you Preston.

  Porter Scavo : I'm Porter

  Tom Scavo : I never could tell you two apart, but you're my favourite

  [Porter raises his eyebrows and helps Tom to sit down, takes of Tom's shows for him] 

  Tom Scavo : Lynette how come you let me drink so many margaritas?

  Preston Scavo : Yeah and why did we have to stay to closing? It's almost 2.00

  Lynette Scavo : Who cares what time it is? We were celebrating a big change in your dad's life.

  Tom Scavo : WOOHOO!

  Lynette Scavo : Woo! Hey someone called.

  [plays the message about the mix up with the time for Tom's test, for the next day at 8.00am] 

  Tom Scavo : Oh cram! I gotta crap for that test1

  Lynette Scavo : Oh geez...