- Lois Griffin: Now, honey, this won't hurt.
- [Dabs Stewie with disinfectant]
- Stewie Griffin: Ah, those lying bastards at Johnson and Johnson!
- [Cut to sinister Johnson and Johnson HQ]
- Scientist #1: We'll put "No more tears" on the bottle.
- Scientist #2: But it does make you cry.
- Scientist #1: I know. Whoo-ha-ha-ha.
- Scientist #2: Whoo-ha-ha-ha.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, what exactly are you worried will happen because of this?
- Peter Griffin: World War 5!
- Lois Griffin: Peter, we've talked about this, there has to be a World War 3 and 4 first.
- Peter Griffin: Oh, no, Lois. That's the beauty of World War 5. It's so intense it jumps right over World War 3 and 4.
- Lois Griffin: But that's...
- Peter Griffin: I have spoken!
- Gina: [to Connie about Chris] He smells like Fred Flintstone's ass.
- [cut to Fred Flintstone]
- Fred Flintstone: Hey! No one's asking you to smell it.
- Stewie Griffin: [singing] I got veins. They carry blood all over my baddy.
- [He stops singing and turns to Brian]
- Stewie Griffin: That's how John Mayer would say it. Baddy. I'm really into him right now. You'd better be okay with it!
- Brian Griffin: [seeing the new buffed-up Stewie] Stewie, you look gross. You look like Lou Ferrigno's poop.
- Stranger at the Gym: Ah, your kid just needs a little help. Try some of this
- [offers steroids]
- Stranger at the Gym: .
- Peter Griffin: Well, if there's anyone I can trust it's a stranger at the gym holding a dirty needle!
- [providing commentary on Joe grilling hamburgers]
- Peter Griffin: Now pick that one up and put it down in the exact same spot.
- [while applying lipstick as "Goodbye Horses" plays in the background]
- Chris Griffin: Would you do me? I'd do me. I'd do me so hard.
- Principal Shepherd: Connie, the person who humiliated you has himself been humiliated. By the rules of High School, you are now popular again.