Paul Kaye: Dennis Pennis, Bob Boonah, Kenny Dogleash

Quotes 

• Dennis Pennis : [to Demi Moore]  You came under a lot of criticism for Striptease. How do you handle your knockers?

• Dennis Pennis : In any other job if you walk around like a drug-crazed zombie, you get the sack. But in the fashion industry, you get rewarded with a multi-million-dollar cosmetic contract. Crazy!

• Dennis Pennis : [to Winona Ryder]  Do you practice safe sex? Because I heard you haven't been to bed with a Johnny for a couple of years.

• Dennis Pennis : One thing I've always wanted to ask you, back in the heyday in Hollywood...

  Lauren Bacall : Oh, we're not discussing that.

  Dennis Pennis : Of all the good-looking fellas, what made you pick Bogie?

  Lauren Bacall : I'll leave that to you.

  [cut to Dennis presenting a transitional clip] 

  Dennis Pennis : You know, it's a shame Lauren Bacall didn't stick around for a bit longer. I wanted to know whether Bogie was a big softie. Did she have Bogie wrapped round her little finger? Was he naturally sociable man or was it hard to get Bogie out? Bogie, Bogie, Bogie, Bogie.

  [mimes flicking a bogey] 

  Dennis Pennis : Made for the flicks.

• Dennis Pennis : Got any plans to start going through puberty at some point?

  Michael J. Fox : Uh, well, I'm right after you.

  Dennis Pennis : OK.

  Michael J. Fox : I'm right after you.

  Dennis Pennis : See you there.

  Michael J. Fox : [points at Dennis' red hair]  You dyeing your pubic hair as well?

• Dennis Pennis : Has anyone told you you're really beautiful... and meant it?

  Cher : [laughs]  No!

  Dennis Pennis : I'm sure.

• Dennis Pennis : [to Elton John]  You know what they call you in Germany, man? Herr Piece!

• Dennis Pennis : Fancy going out down the beach with me, clubbing?

  Seal : Down the beach to do some clubbing? I don't think so.

  Dennis Pennis : No? All good seals love a good clubbing!

• Dennis Pennis : [to Demi Moore, about Bruce Willis]  Did you know that Errol Flynn passed away with a huge erection? Do you think your husband will Die Hard too?