- WPC Diane Priest: All right. Now tell me the very funny thing you know about sex.
- Oliver: Strange. I've been using that line for years. When I first started, it was what we called a chat-up line, but you're not allowed to say that any more. But you're the first woman who ever wanted to know.
- WPC Diane Priest: I may live to pay a terrible price.
- Oliver: Do I look like a serpent bearing forbidden fruit?
- WPC Diane Priest: No you look like a little boy who's discovered there's a better game than conkers.
- Oliver: It may just be the case.
- WPC Diane Priest: So, tell me...
- Oliver: All right. The very funny thing you know about sex is this... A woman, naked except for her stockings, is an extremely erotic sight. A man, naked except for his socks, is a totally ludicrous sight.
- [they laugh]
- [Oliver and Diane are staying at a bed-and-breakfast next to Hadrian's Wall]
- Mrs. Robson: We used to have some fun with the Germans that came here. I used to show them the Wall and say "Look at that, love. We were first." But they never laughed.
- WPC Diane Priest: I want to ask big questions. Questions I have to ask myself. Like: will I take this man as my un-lawful, un-wedded husband, even as far as Hadrian's Wall.
- Oliver: Oh, we have to go *much* further than that. We have to travel far beyond the wall.
- WPC Diane Priest: That's why it's a big question.
- Oliver: All you have to do is say "yes". Wilt thou take this man?
- WPC Diane Priest: And wilt thou take this woman?
- Oliver: It's predestination. What else should we consider?
- WPC Diane Priest: Forsaking all others.
- Oliver: All the others have forsaken me. So it isn't really a live issue.
- WPC Diane Priest: And there's nobody for me to forsake.
- Oliver: How about worldly goods. There are some people feel very strongly about worldly goods.
- WPC Diane Priest: Haven't got any. Have you?
- Oliver: Purely for the record, a little house in south Wales, full of books, records and compact discs.
- WPC Diane Priest: And a head full of trivia.
- Oliver: All yours. And thereto I plight thee my troth.
- WPC Diane Priest: They had that one at *my* wedding, too. I never knew what it meant. Didn't like to ask.
- Oliver: To "plight" is to pledge or promise. Your "troth" is your loyalty and fidelity. So it's a pledge of loyalty and fidelity.
- WPC Diane Priest: All right. I plight thee my troth.
- Oliver: [sounding amazed] You do?
- WPC Diane Priest: From this day forward.
- Oliver: As long as we both shall live.
- WPC Diane Priest: As long as it takes to get to the Orkneys.
- Oliver: I will.
- WPC Diane Priest: I will.
- [Oliver kisses Diane's hands]