Royal Pains (TV Series)
Crazy Love (2009)
Mark Feuerstein: Hank Lawson
Photos
Quotes
-
Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz : [Hank learns Boris has a shark in his basement] Katie studies them, so when this one became ill, I called on her.
Dr. Hank Lawson : It's sick?
Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz : Well, not anymore. Quite commonly, sharks in captivity have trouble with... buoyancy. Katie went in the tank to feed her through her stomach and help her float.
Dr. Hank Lawson : Okay. So that's why Katie was in there, but why is the shark in there?
Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz : Is that medically relevant, Hank?
Dr. Hank Lawson : No, it's not, but right now I feel like I'm living on a Bond villain's property, so explain it to me, or I'm packing up my stuff and I'm leaving.
-
Dr. Hank Lawson : Well, I don't know what "perling" means. Maybe it's something I wanna do.
-
[Katie calls Hank an MSG]
Dr. Hank Lawson : [to Evan] What's an "MSG?"
Evan R. Lawson : Medical super god.
Dr. Hank Lawson : Oh, all right.
Evan R. Lawson : Miniature sex gimp. Mumbling snow gerbil.
-
Divya Katdare : Brazilian augmentation... A scooter to match her shoes... They're crazy.
Dr. Hank Lawson : Or they're in love.
-
Evan R. Lawson : You're welcome for that, by the way, you know, dragging you out to Boris' party in the first place, getting you and Jill together.
Dr. Hank Lawson : Oh, okay, so you're gonna take credit for everything that happens in my life post-Brooklyn, man?
Evan R. Lawson : A butterfly flaps its wings.
-
Dr. Hank Lawson : Okay, so about this MSG thing...
Jill Casey : Ugh. It's not a thing. It's really no big deal.
Evan R. Lawson : Macho surfing guru, right? No? Mucus-spewing growth?
-
Jill Casey : [to Evan after he talks his way onto Katie's bad side] Oh, you just dug your own grave.
Katie : [to Jill] Yeah, he's no MSG.
Jill Casey : No.
Katie : [to Evan] Don't worry, though. All you missed was a couple months of casual, really good sex.
Evan R. Lawson : Whoa-whoa, w-okay, I'm an MSG. Look at... What the hell's an MSG?
Dr. Hank Lawson : Yeah, you guys gotta tell us what that means. It's enough already.
Jill Casey : It's stupid.
Evan R. Lawson : Medieval slut gatherer, man seeking guacamole, manatees...
-
Dr. Hank Lawson : What happened in Caracas?
Divya Katdare : Should've stayed in Caracas.
-
Dr. Hank Lawson : Evan, I have a patient who just passed his physical with flying colors.
Evan R. Lawson : So what's the problem?
Dr. Hank Lawson : The problem is he's sick, and I totally missed it.