Community (TV Series)
Spanish 101 (2009)
Joel McHale: Jeff Winger
Photos
Quotes
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Pierce Hawthorne : To the "empowerage" of words.
Jeff Winger : To the irony of that sentence.
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Senor Chang : Umm ok guys, why are there costumes involved? These are short conversations, they're not supposed to take...
Jeff Winger : ...Your breath away? Well tough.
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Pierce Hawthorne : Apparently my sperm shoots through the egg like bullets! Can you believe that?
Jeff Winger : I can't, but you can, so that's fine.
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Jeff Winger : Because you guys usually spend the first twenty minutes talking about your interesting personal lives and your cool emotional problems, and I just feel like I never have anything to offer. No, truth is, my life is emptier than this three-ring binder... Annie, do you have any Spanish notes that might fit into there?
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Britta : I... I think I was a little too harsh on you, I'm not perfect.
Jeff Winger : I am! I'd be happy to show you the ropes.
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Britta Perry : [refusing Jeff's anniversary card] You're cute, but selfish and narcissistic to the point of near-delusion.
Jeff Winger : [after Britta had left] She said I was cute.
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Jeff Winger : It's the two-week anniversary of my horrible first impression.
Britta : There's a card for that?
Jeff Winger : Well, not specifically, but if you think of grandsons as metaphors for friendship, I think you'll agree with this Transformer here that it's time for ours to become a man - by reading from the Torah.
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Britta : So... that was one of the worst things I have ever seen. Which I guess makes being a part of it a pretty selfless act. So I'm impressed.
Jeff Winger : How do you know I didn't do it just to get another shot at you?
Britta : 'Cause a smart guy like you would know that no woman in that class will be able to look at you as a sexually viable candidate ever again.
Jeff Winger : No, I know. I thought of that.
Jeff Winger : She looked back.
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Jeff Winger : She said I was cute.
Pierce Hawthorne : Tell you what. You take her. I have less to prove. You know, Jeff, you can't pursue people so desperately. It starts to creep them out. Why don't we get a beer? I'll give you advice, and we can have what the kids are calling a sausage fest.
Jeff Winger : I'm not much of a sausage guy, Pierce. Maybe next time.
Pierce Hawthorne : Next time then.