It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention (2009)

Danny DeVito: Frank Reynolds

Quotes 

• Dee Reynolds : What is "Night Crawlers"?

  Dennis Reynolds : It's a game where they crawl around in the night like worms.

  Charlie Kelly : I never said that.

  Frank Reynolds : Yeah, well that's what it is.

• Mac : I have an idea.

  Frank Reynolds : [turns in fear]  Where did you come from?

  Mac : Frank, I've been walking next to you this entire time.

• Frank Reynolds : [at the cemetery]  Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna.

  Donna : Hello, Frank.

  Frank Reynolds : You surprised to see me?

  Donna : No. You left several voicemails congratulating me on my husband's death.

  Frank Reynolds : Well, I was pretty baked.

• Frank Reynolds : Intervention. Intervention. You banged my dead wife?

  Mac : Well, she was alive at the time. But... Did you not know that?

  Frank Reynolds : No.

  Charlie Kelly : It's cool, man. It's cool. Intervention. Intervention, okay? Look, he's got a weird, um, fetish for older women, so don't hold it against him.

  Mac : I don't have an older-woman fetish.

  Charlie Kelly : Yeah, you do.

  Mac : I don't wanna bang this chick.

  [points to Tabitha] 

• [Frank and Mac are walking down the street; Frank is cackling drunkenly and spraying beer out of his mouth] 

  Mac : [tapping him on the shoulder]  All right, Frank, here's another idea.

  Frank Reynolds : [surprised]  Oh-ho-oh! Where'd you come from?

  Mac : I've been walking next to you the entire time.

  Frank Reynolds : [opening another beer]  Sorry, I'm-I'm a little, uh, lit. And, uh, I been goin' over this thing, I'm tryin' to figure out how...

  Mac : [overlapping]  How to bang Donna. I know, you've been talkin' about it for the last five miles. You know what, dude, it doesn't matter, I got a better idea. I think you should bang Gail the Snail.

  [Frank gulps down his beer] 

  Frank Reynolds : My niece?

  Mac : Yeah!

  Frank Reynolds : Gail the Snail?

  Mac : Yeah, dude, what's more depraved than that, huh? Plus you're not blood-related, so it's not that weird.

  Frank Reynolds : [belches in Mac's face]  That is a good idea. I like the way you're thinkin'.

  Mac : [annoyed]  Yeah.

  [Frank hawks several times; Mac grimaces and waves his hand in front of his face] 

  Frank Reynolds : What's in it for you?

  Mac : Huh?

  [Frank hawks again] 

  Mac : Uugghh, Jesus...

  Frank Reynolds : What's in it for you?

  Mac : Don't worry about what's in it for me, dude.

  [Frank hawks again] 

  Mac : Oh, my God, you are disgusting! A disgusting animal!

  [he walks away; Frank hawks one more time as beer foam bubbles out of his mouth and down his chest] 

• Frank Reynolds : [cocks gun as he enters the bar]  Where's the goddamn fire?