- Kelly Bailey: Is this a wind up? Is this you?
- Nathan Young: If I was trying to wind you up, I think I'd be a little more creative. "I know what film you saw last summer". If I wanted to freak you out, I would've dug up the body and stuck that in your locker.
- Curtis Donovan: My mum told me to stay away from girls like you.
- Alisha Bailey: Your mum has never met a girl like me.
- Louise Young: Why can't you just be happy for me?
- Nathan Young: Because your boyfriend is some kind of psycho rough trade gay rapist werewolf!
- Louise Young: Every man I meet. There's always a reason you take against him. It's like when you said Richard was sexually abusing you.
- Nathan Young: It's nothing like that, this is true.
- Nathan Young: So are you like a member of staff or something?
- Young Ruth: I'm a volunteer.
- Nathan Young: Volunteer? I love to volunteer.
- Young Ruth: Is that why they gave you community service?
- Nathan Young: Could be, could be. I'd probably just be here anyway, you know, helping out.
- Nathan Young: Listen, I'm telling you, Mom. He was out there running around naked like a wolf boy.
- Louise Young: What's a wolf boy?
- Nathan Young: It's a boy, raised by wolves. You know, little hairy kid in Siberia. We watched it on the Discovery Channel.
- Nathan Young: He's not a werewolf, OK. This guy is such a pussy, he needs my mum to open jars for him. If he was a werewolf he'd be able to open a jar of peanut butter for himself.
- Kelly Bailey: Is he dead? I think he's dead.
- Nathan Young: SHE'S STEALING YOUR PENSION!
- Stan: Oh!
- Nathan Young: Nah, he's fine.
- Nathan Young: You know, after the storm, did any of you feel like dead weird? Yeah, I had a strange tingling sensation in my anus.