- Dan Humphrey: [sees the photo booth] Problem solved! What could be friendlier than taking a mock photo?
- [Dan and Vanessa goes behind the photo booth and starts making out. They stop and look at each other awkwardly]
- Dan Humphrey: Eh... Photo?
- [first lines]
- Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Get up and go at it, Upper East Side! I hear Little J is having foreign relations with a handsome attaché. We always knew she had friends in high places, but how low will she go?
- [unexpected visitor in Jenny's bedroom]
- Jenny Humphrey: Wait, wait! What are you even doing here?
- Damian Daalgard: Your stepmom hadn't gotten up before me before noon all week.
- Jenny Humphrey: If she does, you'll spend the day hiding in my closet.
- Damian Daalgard: Mm. Kinky. All right, I'll go. I just wanted to make sure we're on for tonight.
- Jenny Humphrey: Yeah, I was thinking Italian. Maybe Morandi or Il Buco. I mean, if you don't want to go downtown, we could walk to Tony's.
- [he takes out a DVD]
- Jenny Humphrey: Uh... well, not that I don't love popcorn and a movie, but, I mean, it's Saturday night, I wanted to go out.
- Damian Daalgard: We are. In fact, we have half a dozen deliveries to make at some parties.
- Jenny Humphrey: Again? You're the only dealer in town?
- Damian Daalgard: No rest for the wicked. I may have to leave these here for the day, if that's cool.
- Jenny Humphrey: Yeah, okay.
- [shakes her head]
- Jenny Humphrey: Jenny's drug way station.
- [chuckles]
- Jenny Humphrey: That's one good thing about my parents being in this huge, unexplainable fight.
- Damian Daalgard: Well, I can think of others.
- Nate Archibald: [after much playtime fun] I told you I was good in the kitchen.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [lying with her head on his lap, smiling happily up at him] Cocktail olives I could have done without. Not... really a breakfast food.
- Nate Archibald: I'm still hungry. Doesn't Rufus make brunch on Saturdays?
- Serena van der Woodsen: I prefer this breakfast.
- Rufus Humphrey: Where do I even start? How could you let this happen?
- Lily van der Woodsen: I didn't let anything happen.
- Rufus Humphrey: Jenny is *not* Serena. And contrary to popular belief, children need boundaries.
- Jenny Humphrey: Dad, I...
- Damian Daalgard: Excuse me, sir. The truth is, we fell asleep watching TV. I know that sounds like Teenage Excuses for Dummies. I appreciate the fact that you're a concerned father...
- Rufus Humphrey: No, the worst part of being the father of a teenage girl is *remembering* when you were a teenage boy.
- [to Jenny:]
- Rufus Humphrey: Pack your bags, young lady. You're coming with me.
- Jenny Humphrey: What? Where? Dad, I live here.
- Rufus Humphrey: Not anymore. It's back to Brooklyn for you.
- Jenny Humphrey: Dad, you can't do that...!
- Lily van der Woodsen: Rufus...!
- Rufus Humphrey: Jennifer, pack your bags, or I will!
- Jenny Humphrey: All right, fine, I'll do it myself.
- [goes off]
- Lily van der Woodsen: Rufus, can we at least talk about this?
- Rufus Humphrey: No, Lily, we can't. And while she's packing her stuff, maybe I'll go grab what's left of my own.
- [goes off]
- Damian Daalgard: [she dropped the drugs] Jenny, what are you doing?
- Jenny Humphrey: I may be a bitch, but I'm not a little bitch. I told you I wasn't afraid.