Family Guy (TV Series)
Big Man on Hippocampus (2010)
Alex Borstein: Lois Griffin, Stewardess
Photos
Quotes
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Richard Dawson : Name something you sit in.
Lois Griffin : A chair.
Stewie Griffin : My own feces.
Richard Dawson : A popular fruit.
Lois Griffin : Orange.
Stewie Griffin : Clay Aiken.
Richard Dawson : Something in your closet.
Lois Griffin : Shoes.
Stewie Griffin : Scary monsters.
Richard Dawson : Your favorite holiday.
Lois Griffin : Christmas.
Stewie Griffin : 9/11.
Richard Dawson : And something you do on the weekends.
Lois Griffin : Go to church.
Stewie Griffin : Black guys.
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[Lois has re-introduced an amnesiac Peter to sex]
Peter Griffin : If sex with the rest of you is half as good as it was with her, then I think we're all gonna get along just fine.
Chris Griffin : Yay!
Lois Griffin : Well, no. No, Peter, you can't have sex with the kids.
Meg Griffin : Well, I wish you'd told him that before he lost his memory.
[shocked gasps]
Meg Griffin : It was a joke! I was just making a joke!
Stewie Griffin : *That's* your sense of humor?
Meg Griffin : I was just kidding. God!
Lois Griffin : Meg, that's awful.
Chris Griffin : Jeez, you open your mouth for a joke once, and *that's* what you come up with?
Brian Griffin : That's messed up, Meg.
Meg Griffin : I was just trying to be funny.
Lois Griffin : That wasn't funny. That was just dark.
Stewie Griffin : Yeah, that's your *father*!
Chris Griffin : Oh, get out, Meg!
[literally kicking her out of the kitchen]
Chris Griffin : Get out of the kitchen! Go on, get out! Out! Out! Out! Out of the kitchen! Go on! Get out of here!
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Richard Dawson : Play or pass?
Peter Griffin : We're gonna play.
Richard Dawson : Oh, this must be your lovely wife.
[as Lois puckers up, he kisses her cheek]
Lois Griffin : Oh, uh-uh. I've been waiting for this for years.
[giving him a deep French kiss and biting his bottom lip, then whispering in his ear]
Lois Griffin : I wanna be your pinkie ring.
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Tom Tucker : We interrupt this program to bring you exciting news. "Family Feud" will be coming to Quahog. Auditions are being held tomorrow at the Civic Center.
Lois Griffin : Family Feud's coming to Quahog? Peter, we should try out. A family can win $5,000 on that show.
Peter Griffin : $5,000? I could get that cave for the front yard I've always wanted, and then tell people not to go in there.
[cut to neighborhood kids playing in the front yard]
Peter Griffin : Hey, you kids stay out of that cave! You don't know what's in there!
[sighing in satisfaction as they leave]
Peter Griffin : Money well spent.
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TV Announcer : And now our feature presentation, "Lawrence of Arabia," presented in its original Ultra-CinemaScope letterbox format.
Lois Griffin : [between two thick black bars, a thin strip of the scene is barely visible] Well, I can't see anything.
Stewie Griffin : Who's the rather attractive girl on the camel?
Brian Griffin : That's Peter O'Toole.
Peter Griffin : You film buffs might enjoy this: both his first and last names are slang for "penis."
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Richard Dawson : All right, Griffins, here's your chance to win the game. Name something you'd like to receive as a gift.
Lois Griffin : Groceries!
Chris Griffin : Assorted lotions!
Stewie Griffin : An Uzi!
Brian Griffin : A dead squirrel!
Meg Griffin : Money!
Brian Griffin : All right, good answer, good answer!
Chris Griffin : [agreement from the others] Yeah, money!
Peter Griffin : Well, Richard, my family seems to think money's the way to go. So I'm gonna go with the flute that Captain Picard played, first in his imagination and then in real life, in the episode "The Inner Light" from "Star Trek: The Next Generation."
Lois Griffin : What? No, you idiot! We said money!
Richard Dawson : Show me Picard's flute!
Lois Griffin : [stunned it's on the board] Peter, how did you...?
Peter Griffin : I was in the survey.
