Community (TV Series)

Beginner Pottery (2010)

Joel McHale: Jeff Winger

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Pierce Hawthorne : Jeffrey, when I was born, I got my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck, both arms, and one of my ankles. Mom said there came a point when the doctor stopped delivering me and just started laughing. I mean, if I ever let being bad at something stop me, I wouldn't be here. That thing some men call 'failure,' I call 'living.' 'Breakfast.' And I'm not leaving until I've cleaned out the buffet. Now, how about a shove?

  Jeff Winger : Good luck, Pierce.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Don't need it. Never had it.

• Jeff's Mom : [Jeff creates a fake flashback]  Jeff, you're a normal person. There's nothing very special about you at all. You're going to be great at a few things, but really crappy at more. And that takes a lot of the pressure off, so you can live a full, happy life. Oh, and sorry it took me so long to tell you that. And it was only in your imagination. My bad. I'm kind of a sloppy mom.

  [in the present, Jeff immerses himself in the fake flashback while continuing to make bad pottery] 

  Jeff Winger : [very seriously]  That's okay, Mom. Nobody's perfect.

• Abed Nadir : Jeff's competitive side had come out before. He had even displayed envy, but on that first day of pottery class, he discovered...

  Jeff Winger : Abed!

  Abed Nadir : Yeah.

  Jeff Winger : What did we discuss?

  Abed Nadir : No voiceover. Sorry. It is kind of a crutch.

• Pierce Hawthorne : [Wearing a boating uniform]  Guess what I've enrolled in?

  Jeff Winger : Singing back-up for Tennille?

  Pierce Hawthorne : No, no, no, hey. Beginning sailing.

  Abed Nadir : But the nearest body of water is two and a half hours away.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Leagues, Abed. We don't measure water by hours.

• Jeff Winger : As we stand once again upon the deadline to drop or add classes, I hereby present this semester's Jeff Winger pick for ultimate blow-off class: Beginner pottery.

  Annie Edison : I don't know, your last "blow-off" class ended up teaching me to live in the moment, which I will always regret and never do again.

  Jeff Winger : This one's different. I researched. You don't even have to make a good pot. You get an art credit for participation.

• Jeff Winger : This class is like a redhead that drinks scotch and loves Die Hard. I suggest you all get her number.

• Abed Nadir : Pottery's much cooler than I thought.

  Annie Edison : And harder! Well, except for that guy Rich. He's like, a natural.

  Abed Nadir : Yeah, I'm worried about the effect that it's having on Jeff, though.

  Annie Edison : Mm.

  Jeff Winger : Heh, yeah. Someone call a shrink. What?

  Abed Nadir : Well, you're usually the cool one.

  Jeff Winger : Abed... You understand the point of a blow-off class is to, blow it off. Not to be cool, making really important mud pies.

  Annie Edison : You're not willing to admit he's talented?

  Jeff Winger : No, because he's not. I mean, if I were ever to make an effort in that class, you'd think I was the cat's pajamas too.

  Pierce Hawthorne : Cat's pajamas?

  [chuckles] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : Okay, Pierce.

  Britta Perry : Wow, somebody's mommy gave him too much praise.

  Jeff Winger : Man, so did someone's psyche teacher.

• Jeff Winger : Guess where Rich is from.

  Britta Perry : Couldn't have been crazy town. You'd have gone to high school together.

• Jeff Winger : I mean, take an intermediate class If you're intermediate. Don't come in here making your fear of failure our problem. I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy. I mean, he's a crazy person.

  Annie Edison : [whispering]  I'm scared.

  Abed Nadir : It's okay. This is good for him. He's confronting his own limitations.

• Rich : Hey, Jeff, ready to make some art In the shape of a vase?

  Jeff Winger : [holds up a bandaged left forefinger]  No, I can't.

  Rich : Ooh, ouch. Let me take a look.

  Jeff Winger : Uh, come on, Rich. Being good at beginner pottery Doesn't mean you can heal people.

  Rich : That's true. But my medical degree does. I'm a doctor.

  Jeff Winger : A doctor?

  Rich : I just take pottery to unwind. Haven't lost a patient in five years. Puts a lot of pressure on a person. So the good news is this is neither sprained nor broken.

  Jeff Winger : Oh, thank God, but I'll have to get a second opinion from a guy in my basket weaving class.

  Rich : [laughs]  That's great. That's funny.

• Jeff Winger : Hey!

  Shirley Bennett : Hmm?

  Jeff Winger : Cuckoo birds, do you mind? This is important.

  Abed Nadir : College is where most mental health problems are activated.

  Troy Barnes : I hope I get multiple personalities. I get lonely in long showers.

• Jeff Winger : Why aren't you in sailing class?

  Pierce Hawthorne : Uh, they drowned me.

  Jeff Winger : Why?

  Pierce Hawthorne : For a better grade. Look, weren't we discussing your flaws, Jeff?