The Hollywood Squares (Syndication) (1971–1981)

George Gobel: Self - Panelist, Self

Quotes 

• Self - Host : When is a woman most beautiful?

  Self - Panelist : Just before the bar closes.

• Self - Host : According to studies at the San Francisco Examinier, if your wife is having an affair, are you likely to find out?

  Self - Panelist : I found about Alice. I was in a hotel once and I found out they had named a room service sandwich after her.

  Self - Host : A room service sandwich, what was it called?

  Self - Panelist : I don't know. I think it was Breast of Turkey

  [Loud laughter from Phyllis Diller] 

  Self - Panelist : ... served on two huge buns.

  [More laughter] 

• Self - Host : True or false, a topless dancer in San Franciso has had her bust insured for a million dollars.

  Self - Panelist : Oh, and for the first time, the Good Hands People...

  [loud laughter] 

  Self - Panelist : have a "Piece of the Rock".

• Self - Host : True of false. According to Dr. Joyce Brothers, people who own dogs often get satisfaction when their dogs do things that they would actually like to do.

  [laughter] 

  Self - Panelist : I went with a girl once who was a real *dog*. We used to go for rides in the car, stick her head out the window,

  [laughter] 

  Self - Panelist : fetch, and all kinds of things like that. She died when she was twenty.

  Self - Host : Oh, she was so young.

  Self - Panelist : Not in *dog* years!

  [loud laughter from Phyllis Diller]