Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (TV Series)
Torch (2010)
Christopher Meloni: Detective Elliot Stabler
Quotes
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Detective Elliot Stabler : [tackling an arson suspect] Where you going? You're running like your pants are on fire.
Detective Olivia Benson : [holding up a hand-held blowtorch the suspect dropped] Well, what do you know? They almost were.
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Detective Elliot Stabler : What'd you call us down for?
A.D.A. Jo Marlowe : Well, when you got two dead little girls, the Ledger's gonna run it on the front page.
Detective Elliot Stabler : So you want answers before they hit you with the questions.
A.D.A. Jo Marlowe : Yeah. The only time I like to be surprised with my pants down is on my birthday.
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[Benson is surprised to find out Stabler's old partner is female]
Detective Elliot Stabler : What are you talking about? I've been telling you Jo Marlowe stories for years.
Detective Olivia Benson : Except the one where Jo is actually a woman.
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Detective Olivia Benson : Or maybe Frank killed his kids and we'll never know it unless we find a smoking gun.
Detective Elliot Stabler : What about a smoking house?
Detective Olivia Benson : Well, we can't burn a house down.
A.D.A. Jo Marlowe : I can.
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A.D.A. Jo Marlowe : [about Michael Parisi] Arsonists love to watch their handiwork. Problem is Mikey's not watching. He's got his eyes closed.
Detective Olivia Benson : He's having a private moment.
Detective Elliot Stabler : He's getting off.
A.D.A. Jo Marlowe : I light a couple of candles if I want to get in the mood. I don't torch my house.
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Marcy : I only took the girls to the club to show them what Mommy does for a living.
Detective Elliot Stabler : Because they already know what an alcoholic does at home.
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Detective Olivia Benson : [while looking at the pictures on Marcy's wall] Make a million dollars. Buy a yacht. It doesn't look like any of your fantasies have come true yet.
Detective Elliot Stabler : I don't see "Take care of my kids" up there on the board.
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Marcy : Some kid grabbed Kedzie's vajayjay a while back. I thought it was just puppy love.
Detective Olivia Benson : Does he go to Kedzie's school?
Marcy : No. He's 20, 21.
Detective Elliot Stabler : Kedzie was ten years old. That's not puppy love. That's pedophilia.
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Michael Parisi : [mumbling] I didn't do nothing.
Detective Elliot Stabler : Louder.
Michael Parisi : [shouts] I said I didn't do nothing! You got a hearing problem?
Detective Elliot Stabler : Well, it comes with age along with hair loss and back spasms.