NCIS (TV Series)
Jurisdiction (2010)
Michael Weatherly: Anthony DiNozzo
Quotes
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Ziva David : This looks like David Jones' locker.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : *Davy* Jones. He used to sing with the Monkees.
Ziva David : ...Real monkeys?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I envy your brain sometimes.
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Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : Who are you guys? D.E.A.? F.B.I.?
CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : [holds up I.D] C.G.I.S.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [chuckling] Coast Guard, boss.
CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : [turns to him] You got a problem with that?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [stops laughing, seriously] No.
CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : No.
[smacks the back of Omagi's head with her I.D]
CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : Put the weapon away, Kyle.
CGIS Special Agent Kyle Omagi : Oh, yes ma'am.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [impressed] That's a nice head slap.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [searching their victim's house, after finding the front door ajar] Clear, boss!
[Abigail approaches Tony and puts her gun to his back]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Maybe not totally clear.
CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : Toss the gun. Do it now.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [laughing] Take it easy, sweetheart. Who are you?
CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : I'm not the one breaking and entering.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : [approaching Abigail from behind] No, the door was open. Ladies first.
CGIS Special Agent Kyle Omagi : [entering from behind Gibbs] It's turning into a party around here.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Wow. Looks a little like "Reservoir Dogs". Except you're cuter than Harvey Keitel.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : [holding up his badge] We're federal agents.
CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : Get his I.D.
[Omagi reaches for Gibbs' badge and Gibbs shakes him off]
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : Look. Don't touch.
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[last lines]
Ziva David : I *do* have friends.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Really? Then what are you doing with me watching a movie on a Friday night at work?
Ziva David : You are my friend.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Really?
Ziva David : ...No. My date cancelled.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Mine, too.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Here you go, McGee. Found this.
[Hands some CDs to McGee]
Special Agent Timothy McGee : Oh, my motivational CDs. Been looking for this.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Yeah, you should've looked harder.
Special Agent Timothy McGee : Well, gee, I'm sorry I didn't think to look in *your* desk.
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Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : Who's driving?
Special Agent Timothy McGee : Well, boss, there's a little problem...
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : No. The problem is that I found these...
[holds up some keys]
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : ... on the elevator floor.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : My bad.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : Uh-huh.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Won't happen again.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : I doubt that. Meet you all downstairs.
[Gibbs tosses the keys into the center of the floor, and Tony, Ziva and McGee all scramble to grab them]
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CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : Okay, question: where would you hide a lot of money if you were afraid your house was gonna be seized?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Not in my house!
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Jimmy Palmer : [examining the corpse on the beach] The fishies sure did a number on him.
Dr. Donald Mallard : As did a propeller. See? The blade sliced through and removed his entire left forearm, but almost certainly after he was dead.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : "This was no boating accident!"
[everyone stares at him]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Richard Dreyfuss, in Jaws? You know, when he finds the arm, in the medical... you know that?
Jimmy Palmer : Yeah, I love that part!
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CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : Andrea Mavrey said she never met Jensen.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : She was lying.
CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : Jensen got into it to con the doctor, but it turned into something else - something with Mrs. Mavrey.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs : The real treasure's the millions Mavrey took out of the bank.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Wait a minute. You're saying the widow and the stud diver - they - they did it together? Ziva, did you hear that?
Ziva David : [exasperated] Yes.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [smug] Yes, what?
Ziva David : [defeated] Yes, I heard the wife did it, Tony. Okay yes, you are a genius!
CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin : Okay, question. Where would you hide a lot of money if you were afraid your house could be seized?
[Confident and cheerful]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [slams desk like a game show buzzer] Not in my house!