Community (TV Series)
The Science of Illusion (2010)
Gillian Jacobs: Britta Perry
Photos
Quotes
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Britta Perry : [Pitying herself] Knock, knock. Who's there? Cancer. Oh good, come on in, I thought it was Britta!
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Jeff Winger : Hey, Pierce, I just remembered. Right before you got here, some guy was delivering level-six ceremonial robes?
Pierce Hawthorne : What? Why didn't you tell me?
Jeff Winger : Maybe if you run you can catch him.
Pierce Hawthorne : Way to use your brain, Winger.
[exits]
Jeff Winger : Abed, how fast can you run to the Theater Department?
Abed Nadir : Thirty-seven seconds.
Jeff Winger : Don't come back without something ridiculous. Go.
[Abed exits]
Britta Perry : Guys, you realize you're exploiting the naiveté of a man who is being brainwashed by a cult.
Shirley Bennett : Well, it sounds a lot less fun when you say it.
Jeff Winger : Everything does. She's a buzz kill.
Britta Perry : I'm not a buzz kill.
Shirley Bennett , Annie Edison : Hmm.
Troy Barnes : Yeah, that doesn't really describe it. You're more of a fun-vampire, because you don't suck blood, you just suck.
Pierce Hawthorne : [enters dejected] He wasn't there.
Jeff Winger : [Abed enters carrying a box] Oh, I think Abed found him.
Pierce Hawthorne : Hey, give me.
[opens box and gasps]
Pierce Hawthorne : It's amazing.
[Jeff stifles a laugh behind his hand]
Pierce Hawthorne : Wow. It is absolutely gorgeous. How do I look?
Troy Barnes : May I?
Pierce Hawthorne : Yeah.
[Troy places a floppy wizards hat on Pierce's head]
Jeff Winger : Magical.
Annie Edison : Great.
[chuckles]
Shirley Bennett : Heh.
[chuckles]
Pierce Hawthorne : [laughs] Of course, the only one who doesn't like this is Britta. You ever get tired of being a buzz kill?
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Jeff Winger : Hey. Impressive. And hilarious.
Britta Perry : Hmm.
Jeff Winger : You gonna fess up, weirdo?
Britta Perry : Look, it wasn't me. Even if it was, this was an accident.
Jeff Winger : I knew it. Nicely done.
[mocking]
Britta Perry : If I come forward, it's gonna play into the "Britta's a buzz kill" mythology.
Jeff Winger : Well, the toe tag fits, Britta. I mean, you single-handedly killed an entire school's buzz, not to mention a frog. According to Glenda, cadaver Harry had 13 nieces and nephews that I'm not interested in meeting. So you better think about coming clean, or I'm just gonna tell everybody you did it.
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Britta Perry : Hey... can I run something by you? I was thinking of pulling a little prank tonight.
[sing-songy]
Jeff Winger : All right. April Fools prank.
Britta Perry : [giddy] So you know how they have live frogs in the anatomy lab?
Jeff Winger : Oh, yeah.
Britta Perry : So I was gonna sneak in there, get a frog, and then tomorrow when Senor Chang's class is coming in, there will be a frog on his desk wearing... Tada.
[reveals a small, frog sized sombrero with 'Sr Chang' printed on the brim]
Jeff Winger : Oh, you're done.
[forced smile]
Britta Perry : Did you read the hat?
Jeff Winger : Senor Chang.
Britta Perry : Yeah. Oh, you don't get it.
Jeff Winger : I guess I don't.
Britta Perry : The frog is Chang.
Jeff Winger : Okay, I did get it. It's funny.
[patronizing]
Britta Perry : I know it's funny. Oh, wait, I forgot. It's not your kind of joke. It's not at anyone's expense.
Jeff Winger : Britta, why waste your time envying my gift for levity? When there's so much you could be doing with your natural talent for severity.
Britta Perry : You know what? My prank is gonna cause a sea of laughter, and I'm gonna watch you drown in it.
[storms off]
Jeff Winger : [calls out] Thattagirl.