30 Minutes or Less (2011)

Jesse Eisenberg: Nick

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Quotes 

• Nick : Now, give me the fucking code.

  Dwayne : Alright. 69-69-69.

  Nick : [pauses]  You gotta be fucking kidding me.

• Chet : [gasp as Nick shows the bomb vest]  What the fuck? Is that thing real?

  Nick : Chet, if I don't get to the money in time. This thing gonna blow.

  Chet : [angry]  And your first thought was to come to a school, filled with young children

• Chet : Okay, climb through the window.

  Nick : You climb through the window!

  Chet : No, I'm holding the bag.

  Nick : I'm holding the bomb!

• [from trailer] 

  Nick : [unzips a vest to show a bomb strapped to his chest]  Guess what? You just brought a gun to a bombfight, officer!

• Nick : [to Mr. Fisher]  Now, listen to me... We're obviously, uh, stealing the car! And you won't report it stolen until later tonight, let's say... 5 o'clock. Or 6, to be safe!

  Chet : 6:15!

  Nick : Yeah, right! 6:15.

  Chet : Don't even bother calling the cops! We own the cops!

• Kate : Why did that engine explode?

  Nick : Remember that bomb I was telling you about? I kind of typed in the code, reactivated it and put in the back of that guy's van.

  Chet : What? That's some John McClane shit! Yes!

  Kate : How did you remember the code?

  Nick : [hesitates]  It doesn't matter. We are alive, and we are rich.

• Chet : Okay, what if we saw off both of your arms, slip the vest over your head, than go to the hospital, they'll re-attach your arms. We'll just keep your arms on ice the whole time.

  Nick : Fuck that!

  Chet : I don't know what to do, man. All these sites have different shit. There's not a lot of consensus in the bomb disarming community. What did they do in the Hurt Locker?

• Chet : You wanna fuck my sister?

  Nick : I said your sister was sexually attractive.

  Chet : Uh, my twin sister? Which is basically like fucking me?

• Nick : Remember graduation night?

  Chet : When you were nailing Tina Scotto?

  Nick : Actually, I was having the best night of my life with your sister.

• Nick : [fighting with Chet]  You're twins. Did you feel it when I was fucking her?

• Nick : I taught myself how to do this shit. Went online, looked all this up!

  Dwayne : Oh I hear ya. I taught myself how to eat pussy and cut my own hair!

• Kate : You're late.

  Nick : No, no, I'm 45 minutes late, which is, like 10 minutes early for me.

• Chet : [trying to pick out the right toy gun to buy and use in the robbery by practicing with it in the store]  EVERYBODY! GET DOWN ON THE GR...

  Nick : Shhh! Jesus!

  Chet : [more quietly]  Everybody! Get down on the ground NOW and go get us our money!

  Nick : Uh, how are they supposed to get the money when you just told them...

  Chet : Go get us our money and THEN everybody get down on the ground!