Glee (TV Series)

Britney/Brittany (2010)

John Stamos: Dr. Carl Howell

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Carl Howell : Rachel, wake up. You Glee kids are impossible to work on. You're always moving around when you're under.

  Rachel Berry : [groggy from the anesthesia]  Is this real life?

• Dr. Carl Howell : Hey, now. Am I interrupting?

  Emma Pillsbury : Carl, no. Hi. What are you doing here?

  Dr. Carl Howell : I thought I'd surprise you and take you to lunch.

  [seeing her expression] 

  Dr. Carl Howell : Oh, I love that look of instant panic every time I try to change your routine. Adorable.

• Dr. Carl Howell : Will, you grind your teeth?

  Will Schuester : I... I don't think so.

  Dr. Carl Howell : [his phone buzzes]  Damn it.

  Emma Pillsbury : What? What's wrong?

  Dr. Carl Howell : Another teenager needs a root canal. I swear, not one student in this school is going to have their teeth by the time they're 30.

• Finn Hudson : [seeing Rachel with a mouthful of blue teeth]  Ahh!

  Kurt Hummel : Oh, my god!

  Rachel Berry : What?

  [taking a compact from her purse, she looks at her reflection and covers her mouth in embarrassment] 

  Rachel Berry : Ah! I don't understand. I floss between classes.

  Dr. Carl Howell : Well, sometimes it's genetics.

  Artie Abrams : [with his own mouth of blue teeth]  I think I might be better at brushing and flossing if I could see myself in the mirror.

  Santana Lopez : There you go, blue tooth.

  Brittany Pierce : [sporting blue teeth, too]  I don't brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.

• Dr. Carl Howell : All right, so here's the deal. You chew this little capsule. Now, if there's any plaque you missed, the dye will stick to it and turn your teeth blue.

  Santana Lopez : Can I just say that you are the hottest dentist I've ever seen?

  Dr. Carl Howell : I get that all the time.

  Santana Lopez : No, like, seriously. You can totally drill me whenever...

  Emma Pillsbury : [interrupting]  Santana. Okay, let's stay focused.

• Brittany Pierce : This room looks like the one on that spaceship where I got probed.

  Dr. Carl Howell : So, Brittany, you, uh... you have the worst teeth I've ever seen. You have cavities in every single tooth. This has got to be some sort of record.

  Brittany Pierce : Please don't pull all my teeth. My smile will look like an adult baby butt with boobs.

  Dr. Carl Howell : All right, I'm gonna put you under with a little general anestesia. You won't feel a thing.

  Brittany Pierce : Like roofies?

• Dr. Carl Howell : Brittany, wake up. All right, you're going to feel a little nauseous.

  Brittany Pierce : [loopy from the anesthesia and her Britney Spears fantasy]  I petted a snake.

  Dr. Carl Howell : [with an amused smile]  Mm. Rock on. I'm going to have to see you tomorrow. You have sixty-eight cavities. I couldn't get 'em all today.

  Brittany Pierce : Can I have a... a blue toothbrush?

  Dr. Carl Howell : I'll give you a hundred toothbrushes.

  Brittany Pierce : Okay. Are you a cat?

• Dr. Carl Howell : So, Santana, I'm looking at your charts and your x-rays. Your teeth are perfect.

  Santana Lopez : That's right.

  Dr. Carl Howell : Well, I can't just put you under. Anesthesia isn't something to joke about. It's serious.

  Santana Lopez : Okay, listen, my dad's a doctor. And not a "tooth doctor", a real one. He, like, went to college or something. Which means I have a killer health care plan that pretty much pays for everything. So get up in my grill, 'cause Britts and I wants to get our anesthesia on.

  Brittany Pierce : That's totally cool.

  Dr. Carl Howell : Hmm. Okay, I guess I can give you a super strong bleaching.

  Santana Lopez : Hmm.

  Dr. Carl Howell : Can I turn the radio on?

  Santana Lopez , Brittany Pierce : [putting their iPod earbuds in their ears]  We've got it covered.