Glee (TV Series)

Britney/Brittany (2010)

Cory Monteith: Finn Hudson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Finn Hudson : [pulls a U.S. History book out of his locker]  U.S. History? Crap. I forgot I was taking that.

• Will Schuester : Now, some people think of the term "easy listening" as a bad thing. But I'm going to let this music speak for itself. You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones, and you guys are really good about putting it all out there. But really good music can also be controlled and restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience; it can let them come to you.

  Finn Hudson : [reading the sheet music]  How could get you caught between the moon and New York City? They're, like, a hundred miles apart.

• Finn Hudson : [seeing Rachel with a mouthful of blue teeth]  Ahh!

  Kurt Hummel : Oh, my god!

  Rachel Berry : What?

  [taking a compact from her purse, she looks at her reflection and covers her mouth in embarrassment] 

  Rachel Berry : Ah! I don't understand. I floss between classes.

  Dr. Carl Howell : Well, sometimes it's genetics.

  Artie Abrams : [with his own mouth of blue teeth]  I think I might be better at brushing and flossing if I could see myself in the mirror.

  Santana Lopez : There you go, blue tooth.

  Brittany Pierce : [sporting blue teeth, too]  I don't brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.

• Santana Lopez : Well, Rachel, congratulations. Normally, you dress like the fantasy of a perverted Japanese businessman with a very dark, specific fetish, but I actually dig this look. Yay.

  Rachel Berry : Thank you.

  Kurt Hummel : I think what Santana is trying to say, Rachel, though I risk expulsion by saying so, is that it seems Britney Spears has really helped you blossom. That's all.

  Will Schuester : Wait. Rachel, is that true? I mean, you are sort of dressing differently.

  Artie Abrams : Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy...

  Finn Hudson : [wanting him to stop]  Hey, hey.

  Rachel Berry : Look, all I know is that I had a very vivid Britney Spears fantasy at the dentist, and since then, it's made me feel free to get out of my own way. I think I've just always been afraid to dress like a pretty girl because I've never really felt like one before.

• Azimio : [accosting Finn at his locker]  Gimme this jacket!

  Finn Hudson : Hey, give me that back! I earned that!

  Azimio : This jacket belongs to people who are actually on the team. But you know what? We're going to restyle it to represent the obvious duality in your sexuality.

  [he and Karofksy both take a sleeve and rip the jacket in half; in a fit of rage, Finn takes a swing at him] 

  Azimio : [ducking]  Oh, you're trying to swing at me?

  Karofsky : Swing, huh?

  Azimio : Come on, swing at me.

  Karofsky : Come on.

  Azimio : Come on! Come on, let's go!

  Artie Abrams : [entering]  Sorry to interrupt. I'm actually glad you're here to see this. Finn, I just wanted to apologize for getting you kicked off the football team. I just hope there's no hard feelings.

  [for show, he and Finn shake hands] 

  Artie Abrams : So, what are you guys talking about?

  Karofsky : Dude, take him.

  Azimio : This wheelchair kid is in the way, man. What if I knock him over or something?

  Karofsky : There's something not right about hitting a kid in a wheelchair.

  Azimio : [to Finn]  You know, the only thing that's saving you right now is my moral code. I don't hit crippled people. But I'll be back. We'll be back.

• Rachel Berry : Hey, you all right? You seem a little down. Didn't you like the banana bread I baked you?

  Finn Hudson : Yeah, it was awesome. It's just... how do you feel about me not being on the football team anymore?

  Rachel Berry : I'm actually kind of happy about it. That I don't have to fantasize about what song I'd sing at your bedside if you were in a coma.

  Finn Hudson : Yeah. I'm just so not cool now, you know?

  Rachel Berry : Well, it's just less of a chance of you running off with some cheerleader.

  Finn Hudson : Wait, so you want me to feel bad about myself?

  Rachel Berry : No, I just... I want to be the only thing that makes you feel good.

  [seeing his expression] 

  Rachel Berry : I'm just trying to be honest.

• Santana Lopez : [passing by Rachel with Brittany]  Hey, dwarf, anyone ever tell you that you dress like one of the bait girls on "To Catch a Predator"?

  Brittany Pierce : Also, I'm more talented than you.

  Rachel Berry : [Finn snickers]  You could have defended me.

  Finn Hudson : [throwing it back in her face]  Well, Santana has a point. Just trying to be honest.

• Finn Hudson : [seeing Rachel dressed in Britney Spears' "... Baby One More Time" schoolgirl outfit]  Hey, take my hoodie. You look cold.

  Rachel Berry : It's okay, I'm... wait, you mean you don't like my new look?

  Finn Hudson : Don't you think it's a bit much? I mean, I think that guy just broke up with his girlfriend over there just so he could stare at you.

  Rachel Berry : I'm just doing what you told me. Besides, it's not like when I went all sad clown hooker and put on that ridiculous "Grease" catsuit. This is just like my regular look with the volume turned up.

• Azimio : Ooh, baby, you can hit me as many times as you want as long as you got that on!

  Karofsky : How come all the gay guys always get the hottest chicks?

  Finn Hudson : You see what I'm talking about? They're personifying you.

  Rachel Berry : Objectifying.

  Finn Hudson : Whatever! Just tell me why it's okay for you to feel safer with me not on the football team, but it... it's not okay for me to feel safer with you in your old reindeer sweater?

  Rachel Berry : Look, I see your point. In order for this relationship to work, we can't control each other. So you have my blessing to rejoin the football team, if you can.

  Brittany Pierce : [nearby, rubbing Jacob Ben Israel's "Jewfro"]  It looks like a Jewish cloud.

  Jacob Ben Israel : [approaching Finn as Rachel leaves]  What do you want for her? I'll give you anything. I'll give you my house. I'll kill my parents and I'll give you my house.

  [Finn groans and leaves] 

  Jacob Ben Israel : [looking at Rachel lustfully]  Wanky, wanky!

• Quinn Fabray : I was pretty sure Artie's legs don't work.

  Brittany Pierce : Did you get a leg transplant?

  Artie Abrams : Nope. My teammates can push my chair like a battering ram.

  Finn Hudson : Yeah, there's no rules against it. We checked.

  Artie Abrams : And I have Britney Spears to thank.

  Brittany Pierce : You're welcome.

• Artie Abrams : Britney plus nitrous gave me an amazing idea, and it gave me the nerve to tell Coach Beiste that Finn and I both really want to be on the team.

  Rachel Berry : Wait. You're back on the football team?

  Finn Hudson : Yeah.

  Santana Lopez : Suddenly, you're way hotter to me. Weird.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Wait. I don't get it. How come everyone's having Britney Spears fantasies?

  Artie Abrams : The nitrous oxide dentists use is a mild hallucinogen. Studies have proven that it induces vivid dreams, often the last thing the patient thinks of. The subconscious moves to the forefront. Since we've all been thinking so much about Britney, it only stands to reason.

• Finn Hudson : You changed back to your old clothes.

  Rachel Berry : I just want you to know that I heard everything that you said and that I respect your needs, and I'll do anything to make you feel safe and happy.

  Finn Hudson : Cool. Well, thanks. I gotta go.

  Rachel Berry : Wait. I mean... d-don't you want to make me feel safe and happy, too?

  Finn Hudson : Well, yeah. Yeah, sure. Wait. Wait. Do you want me to quit football?

  Rachel Berry : Look, how am I supposed to trust that you're not just going to stray again? All right, remember your little fling with Brittany and Santana? I do... all right? Let... let's face it, Finn... the only way that this relationship is going to work is if we're both losers.

  Finn Hudson : [holding her to comfort her]  Okay. Come here. This is how it's gonna happen. I'm gonna be quarterback again, then I'm going to throw a touchdown in our first game, and then point to you in the stands so that everybody in the school knows you're my girlfriend. All right?

  Rachel Berry : That's very romantic, but... I don't know.

  Finn Hudson : Rachel, you can't ask me to choose between you and football.

  Rachel Berry : Well, I am.

• Quinn Fabray : Congrats, Finn. You're back on the team, I'm head cheerleader again. Some kind of symmetry, don't you think? With all the nastiness between you and I behind us, I think we should be together. We'd be a shoo-in for homecoming king and queen. So what do you say? You and me, 8:00, Breadstix?

  Finn Hudson : Look, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for you. Probably always will. But I'm not gonna get back together with you. There's someone else, and you know who that is. I'm asking you to respect that. I'm sorry.

  [as he leaves, she walks down the hall and approaches Rachel, who has been watching nearby] 

  Quinn Fabray : I said what you wanted me to, he shot me down. So congrats. Looks like he really loves you.