Glee (TV Series)

Britney/Brittany (2010)

Heather Elizabeth Morris: Brittany S. Pierce

Photos 

Quotes 

• Will Schuester : All right, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?

  Brittany Pierce : He discovered America.

• Rachel Berry : I'd like to dedicate this song to my boyfriend, Finn. I was wrong. I shouldn't try to control you. I just... I've never been this happy before, and I realize that I was trying to hold on to how you were making me feel so much that I was strangling you in my hands like a little bird. I get now that in order for this relationship to work that I have to open up my hands to fly free.

  Brittany Pierce : Finn can fly?

• Brittany Pierce : I don't want to do Britney.

  Kurt Hummel : Why no Britney, Brittany?

  Brittany Pierce : Because my name is also Brittany Spears.

  [everyone looks at her, confused] 

  Will Schuester : What?

  Mercedes Jones : What the hell is she talking about?

  Brittany Pierce : My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce. That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. "Brittany Spierce". I've lived my entire life in Britney Spears' shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.

  Will Schuester : Well, there you have it, guys. It's been decided. No Britney. Sorry.

  Kurt Hummel : Thanks, Britt. Thanks a lot.

  Santana Lopez : Leave Brittany alone.

  Brittany Pierce : Thank you for understanding. It's been a hard road.

• Finn Hudson : [seeing Rachel with a mouthful of blue teeth]  Ahh!

  Kurt Hummel : Oh, my god!

  Rachel Berry : What?

  [taking a compact from her purse, she looks at her reflection and covers her mouth in embarrassment] 

  Rachel Berry : Ah! I don't understand. I floss between classes.

  Dr. Carl Howell : Well, sometimes it's genetics.

  Artie Abrams : [with his own mouth of blue teeth]  I think I might be better at brushing and flossing if I could see myself in the mirror.

  Santana Lopez : There you go, blue tooth.

  Brittany Pierce : [sporting blue teeth, too]  I don't brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.

• Brittany Pierce : This room looks like the one on that spaceship where I got probed.

  Dr. Carl Howell : So, Brittany, you, uh... you have the worst teeth I've ever seen. You have cavities in every single tooth. This has got to be some sort of record.

  Brittany Pierce : Please don't pull all my teeth. My smile will look like an adult baby butt with boobs.

  Dr. Carl Howell : All right, I'm gonna put you under with a little general anestesia. You won't feel a thing.

  Brittany Pierce : Like roofies?

• Dr. Carl Howell : Brittany, wake up. All right, you're going to feel a little nauseous.

  Brittany Pierce : [loopy from the anesthesia and her Britney Spears fantasy]  I petted a snake.

  Dr. Carl Howell : [with an amused smile]  Mm. Rock on. I'm going to have to see you tomorrow. You have sixty-eight cavities. I couldn't get 'em all today.

  Brittany Pierce : Can I have a... a blue toothbrush?

  Dr. Carl Howell : I'll give you a hundred toothbrushes.

  Brittany Pierce : Okay. Are you a cat?

• Santana Lopez : [passing by Rachel with Brittany]  Hey, dwarf, anyone ever tell you that you dress like one of the bait girls on "To Catch a Predator"?

  Brittany Pierce : Also, I'm more talented than you.

  Rachel Berry : [Finn snickers]  You could have defended me.

  Finn Hudson : [throwing it back in her face]  Well, Santana has a point. Just trying to be honest.

• Dr. Carl Howell : So, Santana, I'm looking at your charts and your x-rays. Your teeth are perfect.

  Santana Lopez : That's right.

  Dr. Carl Howell : Well, I can't just put you under. Anesthesia isn't something to joke about. It's serious.

  Santana Lopez : Okay, listen, my dad's a doctor. And not a "tooth doctor", a real one. He, like, went to college or something. Which means I have a killer health care plan that pretty much pays for everything. So get up in my grill, 'cause Britts and I wants to get our anesthesia on.

  Brittany Pierce : That's totally cool.

  Dr. Carl Howell : Hmm. Okay, I guess I can give you a super strong bleaching.

  Santana Lopez : Hmm.

  Dr. Carl Howell : Can I turn the radio on?

  Santana Lopez , Brittany Pierce : [putting their iPod earbuds in their ears]  We've got it covered.

• Brittany Pierce : I would just like to say that from now on, I demand to have every solo in Glee Club.

  Will Schuester : What?

  Brittany Pierce : When I had my teeth cleaned, I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy. I sang and danced better than her. Now I realize what a powerful woman I truly am.

  Santana Lopez : I went with her, and I had a Britney fantasy, too. Although now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not really sure how our fantasies combined.

• Kurt Hummel : You see, Mr. Schue? I told you. Britney Spears busted our Brit out of her everyday, fragmented haze of confusion and gave her the confidence to step up and perform.

  Brittany Pierce : I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now. It's Brittany, bitch.

  Will Schuester : Guys, we're not doing Britney Spears, and that's that.

  Kurt Hummel : Mr. Schue, you're letting your own personal issues get in the way of something that we are all telling you we really want to do. I mean, this club regularly pays tribute to pop culture, and Britney Spears *is* pop culture! To suggest otherwise is heretical!

  Will Schuester : Kurt! I'm done talking about this!

  Kurt Hummel : Jeez! Let loose a little, would you? Stop being so frickin' uptight all the time!

  [shocked silence] 

  Will Schuester : Kurt... I'll see you in the principal's office.

• Azimio : Ooh, baby, you can hit me as many times as you want as long as you got that on!

  Karofsky : How come all the gay guys always get the hottest chicks?

  Finn Hudson : You see what I'm talking about? They're personifying you.

  Rachel Berry : Objectifying.

  Finn Hudson : Whatever! Just tell me why it's okay for you to feel safer with me not on the football team, but it... it's not okay for me to feel safer with you in your old reindeer sweater?

  Rachel Berry : Look, I see your point. In order for this relationship to work, we can't control each other. So you have my blessing to rejoin the football team, if you can.

  Brittany Pierce : [nearby, rubbing Jacob Ben Israel's "Jewfro"]  It looks like a Jewish cloud.

  Jacob Ben Israel : [approaching Finn as Rachel leaves]  What do you want for her? I'll give you anything. I'll give you my house. I'll kill my parents and I'll give you my house.

  [Finn groans and leaves] 

  Jacob Ben Israel : [looking at Rachel lustfully]  Wanky, wanky!

• Quinn Fabray : I was pretty sure Artie's legs don't work.

  Brittany Pierce : Did you get a leg transplant?

  Artie Abrams : Nope. My teammates can push my chair like a battering ram.

  Finn Hudson : Yeah, there's no rules against it. We checked.

  Artie Abrams : And I have Britney Spears to thank.

  Brittany Pierce : You're welcome.