Glee (TV Series)

Never Been Kissed (2010)

Jane Lynch: Sue Sylvester

Quotes 

• Quinn Fabray : I know what I heard. There we were, making out, and he said it: "Beiste". I think he was picturing making out with her.

  Sue Sylvester : That is the most horrific image I can imagine.

  Quinn Fabray : Coach, I need help. I've done everything I can to rehabilitate my image. I'm getting straight A's, dating the cutest guy at school.

  Sue Sylvester : Who would rather be dry-humping She-Hulk. Oh, dear god, why did I say that? Now that's what I'm picturing. Do you know what kind of disguisting images I'm gonna have to look at to get this out of my head? I'm gonna have to go straight to the wound care center. I'm gonna have to stare at some wounds.

  Quinn Fabray : Coach, I really don't know what to do.

  Sue Sylvester : Wait. This may the opportunity I've been waiting for. A way to get Beiste out of this school and your Macaulay Culkin stunt double back in your arms.

  Quinn Fabray : What do I have to do?

  Sue Sylvester : We need to go public with your pain. Get people talking about this, make Beiste into the next Mary Kay Letourneau. And you need to give him a piece of your mind. Loud and in public. Show him who's the boss. Oh, man. Now I'm picturing the two of them making out during an episoe of "Who's the Boss?".

• Sue Sylvester : Take a good look, William. Because Sue Sylvester's got two things to show you. To my left, I have one confetti cannon. To my right, you'll find another confetti cannon. You know what this means?

  Will Schuester : No, Sue.

  Sue Sylvester : We got Beiste fired. And my full budget is restored.

  [taking out a remote control, she presses a button and the cannons fire confetti everywhere] 

  Will Schuester : Wait, what?

  Sue Sylvester : Well, actually she quit. But I'll take the "W". And it was your kids that made it happen, Will. It finally occurred to them to stop singing all that nonsense about how awesome it is to be alive or ugly or whatever the point is you guys are always trying to make. And instead? They just got mean. Congratulations, Will.

  Will Schuester : Wait. Coach Beiste quit?

  Sue Sylvester : I believe I just said that, Annie Sullivan. You want me to sign it into your palm? And now, if you'll excuse me, and if you wouldn't mind just cleaning all this up, that'd be great.