Glee (TV Series)

Never Been Kissed (2010)

Naya Rivera: Santana Lopez

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mercedes Jones : The boys beat us last time we competed against them. We've got to bring the noise hard this time.

  Quinn Fabray : To be fair, they didn't officially beat us. We got busted for Vitamin D possession before the vote.

  Santana Lopez : Wait. Something's definitely wrong. Why isn't Rachel talking?

  Brittany S. Pierce : Yeah, she should totally be bossing us around right now.

  Rachel Berry : The idea of the assignment was to do the opposite of what we normally do. I'm just trying to stick to the lesson plan, which is proving nearly impossible since you're gluing those sequins on backwards.

• Will Schuester : Well, I genuinely hope you guys are happy, because Coach Beiste has quit.

  Finn Hudson : Wait, what? That's terrible.

  Sam Evans : Yeah, that's not what we want.

  Artie Abrams : That's the opposite of what we want. The football team was actually winning.

  Will Schuester : Well, then you'd better but your heads together and find a way to get her back, fast, because I am actually ashamed of you. You really hurt someone who was a great addition to this school.

  Rachel Berry : I'm sorry, what exactly did we do?

  Finn Hudson : No, no. It's us. The boys.

  Mike Chang : And Tina.

  [everyone turns around and stares] 

  Finn Hudson : We sort of figured out that picturing Beiste while making out was even better than a cold shower.

  [seeing Rachel's expression] 

  Finn Hudson : I... I mean, I don't. Ever.

  Quinn Fabray : [quietly to Sam]  Oh, wow. I'm sorry.

  Santana Lopez : Can I just say that this is what happens when people don't put out? If everyone just put out, we would have a winning football team.

• Santana Lopez : So, how does it feel to be a free man?

  Artie Abrams : All I can say is that I don't want a long-term relationship with either of you. Especially Brittany, since I'm not in love with her.

  Brittany S. Pierce : Do you guys want to go out to dinner tonight?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Not really.

  Santana Lopez : Oh.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Tell you what. You two show up at Breadstix tomorrow night around 7:00. If we don't find hotter chicks to date tonight, we might show up.

  Santana Lopez : You are totally cool.

  Brittany S. Pierce : Awesome.

  [the other girls stare in confusion] 

  Artie Abrams : [Puck rolls him out of the room]  I can't believe it. You're a genius.

• Will Schuester : And now, drum roll, Finn. Because I have in my hand our competition for sectionals next month.

  [whoops and hollers from the class] 

  Will Schuester : First, the a capella choir from the all-boys private school in Westerville, the Dalton Academy Warblers.

  Santana Lopez : Okay, hold up. Like, a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head.

  Will Schuester : And the other team to beat, the Hipsters, a first-year club from the Warren Township Continuing Education Program. Now, they are a glee club composed entirely of elderly people getting their high school GEDs.

  Rachel Berry : Is that legal?

  Mercedes Jones : How are we supposed to compete against a bunch of adorable old people?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Are you kidding? Brittle bones. Give one of those old ladies a good luck pat on the rear, it'll shatter her pelvis.