"How I Met Your Mother" Robots vs. Wrestlers (TV Episode 2010) - Neil Patrick Harris as Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson : I've got five tickets to Robots vs. Wrestlers!

Ted Mosby : That is awesome!

Barney Stinson : You've heard of Robots vs. Wrestlers?

Marshall Eriksen : Not at all!

Ted Mosby : But we're assuming it's some sort of sporting event putting robots... against wrestlers!

Barney Stinson : That's exactly what it is! According to the website!
Marshall Eriksen : Aww... Lilllly... babieeeeees!

Barney Stinson : I hope Ted is miserable right now
Barney Stinson : One word. Made up. Douchepocalypse!
Barney Stinson : Hey, Marisa Heller! Barney Stinson. Do you remember me? We met at a convention for bird owners.

Marissa Heller : That's not possible.

Barney Stinson : Wicker lovers.

Marissa Heller : No.

Barney Stinson : Stinson out!
Barney Stinson : [to Ted] Marisa Heller... she sounds hot. Describe. Face, hair, boobs? Start with boobs.
Barney Stinson : Rule #83. If anything coming out of that child's mouth lands on me, I get to touch Lily's boobs.

Marshall Eriksen : Dude, what is it with you and my wife's boobs tonight?
Barney Stinson : Ted, you are out of the gang FOREVER!

Ted Mosby : I'll see you guys tomorrow?
Barney Stinson : [Barney's conditions for Marshall and Lily to have a baby] 1.You promise to always love me more than the baby 2.Once a month I get to use the baby to pick up chicks 3.That may involve the baby falling from a two story window and me heroically catching it 4.No breast-feeding in front of me 5.Forget about 4. You can whip em out whenever you want.

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson