- Marshall Eriksen: So, funny thing about Willem Dafoe. His name sounds like it's being spoken by a frog, then a parrot.
- [Demonstrates this]
- Marshall Eriksen: Willem. DA-FOE! Willem. DA-FOE!
- Jefferson Van Smoot: Young man, that gong is a 500-year-old relic that hasn't been struck since W. S. Gilbert hit it at the London premiere of The Mikado in 1885!
- Marshall Eriksen: His wife's a 500-year-old relic that hasn't been struck since W. S. Gilbert hit it at the London premiere of The Mikado in 1885!
- Barney Stinson: I've got five tickets to Robots vs. Wrestlers!
- Ted Mosby: That is awesome!
- Barney Stinson: You've heard of Robots vs. Wrestlers?
- Marshall Eriksen: Not at all!
- Ted Mosby: But we're assuming it's some sort of sporting event putting robots... against wrestlers!
- Barney Stinson: That's exactly what it is! According to the website!
- Barney Stinson: Hey, Marisa Heller! Barney Stinson. Do you remember me? We met at a convention for bird owners.
- Marissa Heller: That's not possible.
- Barney Stinson: Wicker lovers.
- Marissa Heller: No.
- Barney Stinson: Stinson out!
- Barney Stinson: [to Ted] Marisa Heller... she sounds hot. Describe. Face, hair, boobs? Start with boobs.
- Barney Stinson: Rule #83. If anything coming out of that child's mouth lands on me, I get to touch Lily's boobs.
- Marshall Eriksen: Dude, what is it with you and my wife's boobs tonight?
- Robin Scherbatsky: I have plans with Don on Saturday: He's making me Chinese.
- Lily Aldrin: I'll assume you're talking about food, otherwise I'll have some follow-up questions.
- Barney Stinson: [Barney's conditions for Marshall and Lily to have a baby] 1.You promise to always love me more than the baby 2.Once a month I get to use the baby to pick up chicks 3.That may involve the baby falling from a two story window and me heroically catching it 4.No breast-feeding in front of me 5.Forget about 4. You can whip em out whenever you want.