- Cathy Jamison: If you were ready to go, did you ever think about just going?
- Marlene: Think about it all the time, but I just keep waking up.
- Marlene: You can't just walk into my house!
- Cathy Jamison: You have no idea what I can do!
- Marlene: You're a pain in the ass!
- Cathy Jamison: You're a fucking cunt!
- Marlene: GET OUT!
- Cathy Jamison: You can't be fat and mean, Andrea.
- Andrea Jackson: What?
- Cathy Jamison: You heard me. If you're gonna dish it out, you gotta be able to look it up. Fat people are jolly for a reason. Fat repels people. Jolly attracts them. I know everyone is laughing at you're joke, but no one's inviting you to the prom. So, you can either be fat and jolly or a skinny bitch.
- Cathy Jamison: [to her husband, Paul] It's hard not to treat you like a child when every time I make a sandwich you ask me to cut the crusts off your bread.
- Cathy Jamison: [to her son, Adam] From now on, I'm going to raise you so hard your head is going to spin.
- Cathy Jamison: I want you think of every one these you smoke as taking six months off of your life.
- Andrea Jackson: You know what, I'd rather be skinny and die young than be fat forever. What can I say? Fat camp didn't work for me.
- Cathy Jamison: Yeah, well, there's gotta be other options.
- Andrea Jackson: The blood sugar diet. The protein diet. The starvation diet. The pretending that I don't care strategy. You know what? You would be mean too.
- Cathy Jamison: You just need more patience.
- Andrea Jackson: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm healed! Thanks, Mrs. Jamison. I should've come to you sooner.
- Cathy Jamison: I'll pay you a 100 bucks for every pound you lose. Here. Here's a good faith...
- Cathy Jamison: [pulls out money] $23. We meet in the gym every Friday at 2:00 for weigh-ins. If you smell like a cigarette, the deal is off.
- Andrea Jackson: This skinny bitch will see you on Friday then.
- Cathy Jamison: Oh, I'm gonna burn my couch in the backyard on Friday if you want come over for a bonfire.
- Sean Tolkey: Starting to get your weird back, sis.
- Cathy Jamison: You have no idea.
- Cathy Jamison: You can't be fat and mean, Andrea.
- Andrea Jackson: What?
- Cathy Jamison: You heard me. If you're going to dish it out, you gotta be able to lick it up. Fat people are jolly for a reason. Fat repels people, but joy attracts them. Now, I know everyone's laughing at your cruel jokes, but nobody is inviting you to the prom, so you can either be fat and jolly, or a skinny bitch. It's up to you.
- Sean Tolkey: The last you could do is buy a damn Hybrid.
- Cathy Jamison: The least you could do is take a shower.