- Jack Donaghy: What are you wearing tonight?
- Avery Jessup: The museum gala? Think slutty Grace Kelly.
- Jack Donaghy: I'm picturing it right now.
- [Liz walks in wearing sweats]
- Jack Donaghy: And the exact opposite just walked in.
- Avery Jessup: Tell Liz I said hi.
- Jenna Maroney: I could go with you, be your wingman.
- Liz Lemon: Oh, you wouldn't want to go there.
- Jenna Maroney: Oh, it would be good acting research for me. I'm up for a role in National Lampoon's Van Wilder's Wingman, Incorporated.
- Liz Lemon: I'm looking forward to not seeing that on a plane.
- Jack Donaghy: Dating is like your haircut. Sometimes awkward triangles occur.
- Liz Lemon: It feels like you've been saving that one.
- Jack Donaghy: Obviously.
- Liz Lemon: Oh my God, I'm no better than Toofer. Or Lutz with his B.S. Inuit ancestry. Or you, whose dad was in the masons with Dave Garroway. I shouldn't be here.
- Pete Hornberger: This is America. None of us are supposed to be here.
- Liz Lemon: Happy Birthday, Jack. I got you a card. It's one of those new ones where you can record a message.
- Liz Lemon: [Jack opens the card] "Test, test, test. This is a test for Jack's card.
- [Emphatic falsetto]
- Liz Lemon: Wonder Woman! Excuse me, how do you re-record on these things? Whatever. I'll definitely figure it out."
- Jenna Maroney: Jarem! Look how drunk I am! And how full of cheese my mouth is!
- Jerem: That's not that much cheese.
- Nancy Donovan: There's a Lee Marvin marathon on Turner Classic tonight.
- Jack Donaghy: I thought you said it wasn't going to get sexual.
- Avery Jessup: I love this restaurant. This is one of the few places in New York with a veal tank.
- Jack Donaghy: It tastes better when you pick your own.
- Jack Donaghy: You look like a prison weed dealer.
- Liz Lemon: I'm coming back from a singles dodgeball match, okay?
- Jack Donaghy: Good God.
- Liz Lemon: The YMCA near my apartment offers a variety of singles activities, and I am forcing myself to go to all of them.
- Jack Donaghy: Well, I'm glad you're trying. But I wish you didn't have to... Lemon, are you wearing a cup?
- Liz Lemon: [dryly] Oh, I forgot: Only guys can get hurt there.