- Dan Humphrey: Now, what's so urgent?
- Blair Waldorf: I wanted to tell you... that you were right... about that... thing.
- Dan Humphrey: And now, which thing was that?
- Blair Waldorf: I, Blair Waldorf, need Dan Humphrey's help.
- Dan Humphrey: As a friend and peer, not as an underling.
- Blair Waldorf: [mumbling] As my friend and peer, not my underling.
- [Dan mocks Blair by aping after her, mumbling and tilting his head]
- Dan Humphrey: [Blair's busy on the phone] Sure you're not ready to admit you need my help?
- Blair Waldorf: Never!
- [is misunderstood on the phone]
- Blair Waldorf: No, never isn't what he transitioned Spain into, it's modernism and don't get caught talking during a test.
- Dan Humphrey: When was the last time you slept?
- Blair Waldorf: Sleep is for the weak. And speaking of which, don't act like I don't know why you're really here. It's because you're avoiding Ben and Serena at the loft.
- Dan Humphrey: No, I'm waiting for you to crack.
- Dan Humphrey: What are you doing here? This is Serena's brother's birthday party. It's not okay for you to just show up here unannounced and uninvited since you are no longer welcome here.
- Vanessa Abrams: All I want to do is apologize to you for the part I played in what happened with Serena. I had no idea that was Juliet's plan. You know me, Dan. I would never be okay with things going that far.
- Dan Humphrey: That's what my sister said to me before she came clean. You, on the other hand, pointed the finger at her and left town. Your apology is NOT accepted!
- Vanessa Abrams: Wow. I guess now I can never come back here. Not even with you. My mother was right. You really have become corrupted by this high society elite lifestyle. I'm leaving.
- Dan Humphrey: Good! I'm not going to chase after you this time, Vanessa.
- Vanessa Abrams: And I wouldn't stop for you if you did! Juliet said a lot of things but she was right about one of them. I'm an outsider around here, and always will be.
- [first lines]
- Gossip Girl: Mick, Keith and their questionably costumed cohorts said "You can't always get what you want."
- [as Dan walks in on Serena and Ben in the loft:]
- Gossip Girl: But that doesn't mean it's okay for anyone else to have it either.
- Serena van der Woodsen: I'm sorry, it's perfect. Just the perfect amount of toasty.
- [Ben chuckles]
- Serena van der Woodsen: Hey...
- Dan Humphrey: Hey.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Sorry if we kept you up last night, we were playing scrabble.
- Ben Donovan: She fell asleep to avoid losing.
- Dan Humphrey: [to Serena:] Since when do you enjoy Scrabble?
- Serena van der Woodsen: [caught out] Do you want some coffee? I made it.
- Ben Donovan: Be careful. She makes it strong. She's giving Staten Island Correctional a run for its money.
- Serena van der Woodsen: [entering Blair's room where Dorota is dressing Blair in front of mirror] Okay, I try not to meddle in Dorota's duties, but don't you think you're taking it a bit to far?
- Blair Waldorf: No. Marie Antoinette, Scarlet O'Hara. I'm only following in the footsteps of other powerful women who didn't have time to zip.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Or maybe you're just delusional from lack of sleep. Your light hasn't been off for nights.
- Blair Waldorf: Great only need three hours.
- [dismissive wave]
- Blair Waldorf: Mine happens to be non-consecutive.
- [impatient gesture at her servant]
- Blair Waldorf: It's all part of my two-year plan. Every minute is allotted to work, school and personal obligations.
- [despite Dorota's best efforts, the zip chafes]
- Blair Waldorf: Ow! That was my skin!
- Dorota Kishlovsky: Study say not enough sleep makes people psychotic
- Blair Waldorf: [to Dorota:] Shouldn't you be brushing?
- Serena van der Woodsen: Are you sure your workaholism has nothing to do with Raina and Charles and Valentine's Day?
- Blair Waldorf: [defensively] They broke up.
- [breaks away from the mirror]
- Blair Waldorf: And I only have thirty seconds left of being-a-good-friend time. So spill. Where were you last night?
- Serena van der Woodsen: At the loft. Just... sleeping. It's hard to find the time with Dan always there and you here...
- [Dorota checks out Gossip Girl on laptop]
- Serena van der Woodsen: You know, there's been a lot of buildup.
- Blair Waldorf: With three years spent in the big house, I'd say so.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Obviously, good-friend time has expired. B, please, *consider* a nap.
- [gets up, walks out in a huff]
- Blair Waldorf: [to Dorota:] What are you doing? Less reading, more grooming! I'm the only one who can multitask!
- Penelope Shafai: You called us here to Skype?
- Blair Waldorf: No. I called you in to W, but apparently *someone* thought that stood for Waldorf. It's fine. No time to waste on blame.
- Jessica Leitenberg: Oh, thank God.
- [sighs with relief]
- Blair Waldorf: One does not get promoted without working fifty-hour weeks. Nor does one graduate early without doubling their course load. There are philanthropic positions to secure as well as relations to nurture. Yet, with science so woefully behind in cloning technology, I can only be in one place at a time. Dorota?
- Dorota Kishlovsky: [hands out assignment] Jessica, Art History essay exam.
- Blair Waldorf: We got the question in advance. You will just sit in front of the proctor and take my dictation over Bluetooth. Penmanship counts. Now, Penelope, gifts for Eric's birthday and my mother's new home in Aix.
- [patronising tone:]
- Blair Waldorf: And please *do try* to approach my level of taste. New minion...
- Emily: My name is Emily.
- Dorota Kishlovsky: She has no time to care.
- Blair Waldorf: The opera is naming their new board, and I need to be on it, which means I need to meet with Bryn Harold... today.
- Penelope Shafai: [shakes her head] I don't wanna do gifts.
- Blair Waldorf: I'm sorry, but the time allotted for this interaction is now up.
- [rudely disconnects]
- Blair Waldorf: Interns! Step in!
- [is unaware that a bemused Donna enters]
- Blair Waldorf: Now, since the new online blog is moulding minds, I'll do that myself. You... will sort portfolios, draft editorial captions, and research back...
- Donna: Are you talking to me?
- Blair Waldorf: Of course not. Where are my interns?
- Donna: They put in for transfers. Your management style was a little aggressive. One claims she has PTSD and threatened a lawsuit.
- [walks towards door, then turns back]
- Donna: Oh, good luck. The last assistant who lost her interns, lost her job too.
- Blair Waldorf: [as Dan appears in doorway] Not to worry. My new intern is already here.
- Bryn Harold: [to overworked no-sleep Blair] You do realize you're wearing two different shoes, aren't you?