- [first lines]
- Gossip Girl: Morning, Upper East Siders. Hope you had a good night's sleep. Or at least a good night's play.
- Blair Waldorf: Serena! What are you doing on campus so early?
- Serena van der Woodsen: Watching you climb out of a brownstone vestibule with Chuck following like the Bass that ate the canary. And no denials. Your skirt's on backwards.
- Blair Waldorf: No, it isn't.
- [but checks]
- Blair Waldorf: Fine. I may have slipped up... a little, but it's just sex, and a one-time thing at that. Or maybe a five-time thing.
- [Serena stands arms akimbo]
- Blair Waldorf: Okay, if we're being honest, I've lost count how many times. Though, that depends on what you're actually counting as...
- Serena van der Woodsen: Blair, what are you doing? You've come so far, don't fall off the wagon now.
- Blair Waldorf: I haven't! It's just your ordinary, run-of-the-mill ex sex fueled by the most common of aphrodisiacs: mutual loathing and disdain.
- Serena van der Woodsen: May I remind you that both of those are feelings, and having *any* feelings for Chuck is where the problems always start.
- Blair Waldorf: There are so many feelings between me and Chuck as there are thoughts in Levi Johnston"s head.
- [shakes her head]
- Blair Waldorf: We're nothing more than enemies with benefits. And quite a lot of judgment coming from you, Elizabeth Taylor. You're but one inappropriate relationship away from the Guinness Book.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Colin and I had a good talk this morning and he wants a real relationship too.
- Blair Waldorf: [sarcastic] Yeah, I hear the 97th Street transverse is a lovely spot to drive past on a date. I saw you get in that cab!
- Serena van der Woodsen: We happen to be going away this weekend. So we can get to know each other like a normal couple while still adhering to our rules.
- Blair Waldorf: Please. Do you forget what happens to you on vacations? There's a reason why you never get a tan line. You have no willpower.
- Serena van der Woodsen: And you do?
- Blair Waldorf: Yes. I stopped having meaningful sex with Chuck. And I can just as easily stop having meaningless sex with him. In fact, I'm going to call him *right* now and make it clear that our little dalliance is finished forever. Maybe you should follow my example before you get your passport stamped again.
- [turns around, goes off, biting her lip]
- Blair Waldorf: Dorota, you have to keep me away from Chuck for the next twenty-four hours, no matter what!
- Dorota Kishlovsky: But, Miss Blair...
- Blair Waldorf: Don't "Miss Blair" me! The only way to be done with this thing once and for all, is to have a Bass-ectomy! Now keep me occupied!
- Juliet Sharp: I'm surprised you phoned me. I thought you never wanted to see me again.
- Nate Archibald: Just because you broke up with me, doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?
- [receives text message from Vanessa who found Juliet's real address]
- Nate Archibald: It's from Chuck, he wants to know where the batteries are.
- Juliet Sharp: Okay, now I know you're lying.
- Nate Archibald: I wish I knew when you were. Would've saved me a lot of time, now wouldn't it?
- Juliet Sharp: Nate, what's going on here?
- Nate Archibald: I went to your apartment today, and they said you don't live there. And I thought for sure I was done giving a damn about you, but I just can't let it go. I mean,
- [shakes his head]
- Nate Archibald: why do you need to lie about it?
- Juliet Sharp: Because I didn't want you to see where I really live. My actual apartment is a studio on 126th Street, which I...
- [shakes her head]
- Juliet Sharp: couldn't even afford if it wasn't for my cousin who pays for my rent, and the rest of the stuff I scrape together or... return... when I can, okay?
- Nate Archibald: So that's what you've been hiding? That you're...
- Juliet Sharp: Poor? Did you ever think I would've been the keymaster at Hamilton House if people knew I took Metro-North to Woodbury Common twice a month... or that I do my own hair? And would Nate Archibald really have wanted to date me if he knew I lived above a bodega in a fifth-floor walk-up with fluorescent lights and IKEA furniture I put together myself?
- Nate Archibald: When my Dad went to jail, I had nothing, okay? So I know what it's like to feel the need to keep up.
- Juliet Sharp: Sorry I lied to you. I was ashamed. That's the reason I broke it off between us, because I... I didn't wanna get too close, but I *did* really like you. And I still like you.
- [their eyes meet]
- Juliet Sharp: I should probably get going.
- [gets up]
- Nate Archibald: No, no, no. Wait, wait. You...
- [chuckles]
- Nate Archibald: told me the truth. And I'm a big believer in second chances. I've had a couple in my life. There's the, uh, winter opening at the New York City Ballet tonight. Would you wanna come?
- [big smile from her]
- Nate Archibald: Maybe you wear a dress that you actually own...
- [gorgeous dimples in her smile]
- Nate Archibald: even if it's from Woodbury Common?
- Juliet Sharp: [pearly-white teeth] Yes, I would love to go. Thank you for understanding. You can't even imagine how much it means to me.
- [his hand on her knee]
- Chuck Bass: [to Juliet] Your obsession with Serena is growing tiresome.
- Blair Waldorf: Just because you have no money and delusions of grandeur, does not make it okay for you to be a single white-trash female.