- Leslie Knope: Our budget's been slashed to zero. I tried to buy fertilizer the other day for the soccer field. Request denied. We literally can't buy shit.
- Andy Dwyer: April, hey, it's me, Andy Dwyer. This is like the 200th message I've left you without a response. So, if you're trying to tell me something, I do not know what it is because you won't call me back.
- [discussing Ann's date with Chris]
- Ann Perkins: And how, exactly, am I supposed to casually steer the conversation towards the parks department's budget?
- Leslie Knope: Okay, it's totally easy. Tell you what: you be Chris, I'll be you, I'll show you how it's done.
- Ann Perkins: Okay.
- Ann Perkins: [as Chris] Ann Perkins! You are wonderful and amazing, and I am happy to be here with you!
- Leslie Knope: [as Ann] Thank you, Chris. I'm wearing a tuxedo vest with no shirt on underneath. Uh-oh...
- Ann Perkins: [as Chris] Can I get you a drink? I love every single beverage in the world!
- Leslie Knope: [as Ann] I would like some wine, and oops! My vest popped open, just like the budget needs to pop open and you to pour it into my parks department.
- [long pause]
- Ann Perkins: Great!
- Andy Dwyer: My coaching style is... fundamentals. With an emphasis on fun. And also emphasis on... the mental.