Burn Notice (TV Series)

Made Man (2010)

Jeffrey Donovan: Michael Westen

Photos 

Quotes 

• [club scene] 

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  Grabbing someone who travels with protection is about finding the moments when they're least protected.

  [Tony Caro gets up, signals to his guards, and walks through the club] 

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  Fortunately, even the most paranoid gangster insists on doing some things alone.

  [Tony signals to his men to wait and guard while he goes into the men's room] 

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  Executing a successful close-quarters assault is all about setting the stage. You'll want to dull any reflective surfaces...

  [Washing his hands first, Tony notices the mirrors are fogged] 

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  ... corral your target into a corner...

  [all but one stall have "OUT OF ORDER" signage] 

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  ... and hit him when he's most vulnerable.

  [Tony takes a disposable seat cover and puts it on the stool. Sam grabs him from behind] 

  Sam Axe : Easy. Easy, now. Here.

  [Sam injects something into Tony's neck] 

  Tony Caro : [muffled by Sam's hand]  Mm!

  Sam Axe : Night, night.

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  And it never hurts to have a pre-arranged exit strategy.

  [Jesse comes out of the handicapped stall as Sam drags Tony out of theirs] 

  Jesse Porter : You really think you can scare this dude into pullin' somethin' that'll get him busted, huh?

  Sam Axe : Oh, I *know* I can.

  Jesse Porter : Really? 'Cause... you don't look that scary.

  Sam Axe : You haven't seen Chuck Finley in action.

  [carrying Tony between them back through the club] 

  Sam Axe : Sorry. Coming through. Somebody can't handle his liquor.

• [first lines] 

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  Spies come from all walks of life, and no two are exactly alike. But whether they're a burned former operative, a beautiful bomber with a temper, or a hard drinking ex-SEAL, they all share one trait: punctuality.

  Sam Axe : [laughing, pointing at girl at bar]  Hey.

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  Showing up on time means you're 15 minutes late.

  Fiona Glenanne : [throws origami crane at Sam]  It's noon, Michael! Where the hell is this guy?

  Michael Westen : [sighs] 

  Fiona Glenanne : You think he's still coming?

  Sam Axe : Look, I wouldn't mind, honestly, if Jesse just faded into the mist. I really don't think we need a counterintelligence agent joining our merry band.

  Michael Westen : Jesse's investigating the very same people we are, Sam. They nearly killed everyone at this table. I say he hear him out.

  Fiona Glenanne : Sure. Get a guy fired, ruin his life; I'd say you owe him a Mojito and a friendly shoulder to cry on, at the very least.

  Michael Westen : I didn't burn him on purpose, Fi.

  Fiona Glenanne : Well, *he* may not see it that way.

  Michael Westen : Let's try not to mention it.

  Sam Axe : Ah, here we are. Looks like Jesse got here on time after all.

  ["Jesse" / "Recently burned spy"] 

• Michael Westen : [narrative]  Identifying an illicit weapons shipment from a specific country isn't as simple as checking manifests or spotting a flag on a ship - it's too easy for arms dealers to fake both - but phony paperwork and false flags won't stop crew members from telling you the straight story. Chat up the right deck hand and you can learn where every shady piece of cargo came on board. There's no substitute for human intelligence.

• Madeline Westen : [looking in refrigerator]  I can't believe I'm out of lemon juice! Will lime juice do?

  Jesse Porter : [straight faced]  I don't know, Madeline. You know, it depends. Are you willing to settle for B+ hummus? I'm not.

  [pause] 

  Jesse Porter : [smiling]  I'm kidding.

  Madeline Westen , Jesse Porter : [laughing] 

  Jesse Porter : It'll be fine. All I got to do is add my secret ingredient...

  Jesse Porter : [whispers]  cumin.

  Madeline Westen : Mm. It's funny. Seems like the only thing I know about you is you like your food extra spicy.

  Jesse Porter : [chuckles] 

  Madeline Westen : What is it you do, again? Michael said, what, government work?

  Jesse Porter : [avoiding]  I used to, yeah.

  Madeline Westen : Mm. Does that have anything to do with why you always leave the house through a different door? Or you never park your car in the same spot on the street?

  Madeline Westen : [chuckles] 

  Jesse Porter : Superstitious, I guess.

  Madeline Westen : Mm-hmm.

  [Michael enters, pause] 

  Jesse Porter : I think he's here to see *me*.

  Madeline Westen : 'Course he is.

  [Madeline walks out] 

  Jesse Porter : Your mom is no joke. Could give most counterintel agents a run for their money.

  Michael Westen : I'm surprised she hasn't broken *you* yet.

  Jesse Porter : Oh, trust me, I can handle it.

• Michael Westen : I need to get ears on them.

  Jesse Porter : Okay, so you're going to bug a bunch of wiseguys. Good luck with that. They'll be looking for it.

  Michael Westen : Trust me, *I* can handle it.

  [back at Michael's place at the workbench] 

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  Ideally, a bug should never be seen by anyone, but when there's a possibility it may be, it's best to make it look like something people won't want to touch. A wad of gum stuck to a balled-up piece of tissue and a sprinkling of whatever's in your lint trap will usually do the trick.

  Sam Axe : [entering]  Okay, that's disgusting.

  Michael Westen : Thanks, Sam.

• Michael Westen : [narrative]  Organized crime bosses, like senior administrators in any business, have a lot of people who want to meet with them. Hang around long enough asking for some face time, and you can get yourself on the schedule, but don't count on the receptionist offering you coffee while you wait.

• Michael Westen : [cover blown, threatened with a slow death starting with a gunshot to the knee]  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Okay, okay, I'll talk! No, I'm gonna talk. I'll talk, I'll talk, I'll talk.

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  Holding someone's arms behind their back is a good technique for a bully on the playground, but it leaves you very exposed.

  Michael Westen : I'm gonna talk.

  Michael Westen : [narrative as he does so]  A well placed kick right beneath the knee will cripple your opponent, and a crippled opponent can be a great weapon.

  [Michael spins to deflect the gun, throws the holder into the shooter, punches the shooter with a left hook and right uppercut, and knees the holder on the ground in the head] 

  Jesse Porter : The guy can handle himself. I'll give him that.

  Fiona Glenanne : He has his moments.

• Michael Westen : [narrative]  Convincing a General that he can't trust his soldiers is an ancient and time-honored strategy. In ancient Rome, staging a botched assassination usually involved poisoning a few slaves. Today, the same effect can be achieved with a cheap cellphone and a brick of explosive.

  [Fiona plants the bomb on Tony's car under the driver's side door. Tony comes out and walks around to get in. He hears the conspicuous beeping, spots it, and runs off. Fiona triggers it once Tony is at a safe-enough distance, effectively firebombing the vehicle's interior and harming nothing else] 

• [Tony's plan has Sam and Jesse stealing a truck full of processors alone while he makes the sale. Their plan requires Tony get caught in the act. Sam presses him to do it with them and he's balking] 

  Tony Caro : I'm not doin' it.

  Jesse Porter : Look, Tony, you're on a team with Chuck, he takes care of you.

  Tony Caro : I'm not gonna do it.

  Jesse Porter : He takes care...

  Jesse Porter : [to Sam]  Tell him about the time you, uh, saved your Navy SEAL buddy, in El Salvador.

  [Sam gives Jesse a hard look] 

  Jesse Porter : Come on, tell him, man.

  Sam Axe : [Sam pauses, not liking having to share this, and clears throat]  It was the '80s, uh, I led a fact-finding team into the country. There were five of us, including my buddy, Pete. 'Course, the, uh, death squads were none too happy to see us, so we came under fire, and Pete took one in the spine. He wanted me to dump him, leave him behind. I sent the team ahead, and Pete and I holed up in some church for a couple days, living off of communion wafers. Finally, a couple Blackhawks airlifted us out of there. The point is, no man left behind. That's the promise I make, the promise I keep.

  Tony Caro : [moved, pats Sam on the shoulder]  That's a hell of a story, Chuck.

  Sam Axe : [mouths silently]  Yeah.

  Jesse Porter : So, what do you say? You in?

  Tony Caro : [pauses, still moved]  Yeah, I'm in. Let's do this.

  [cut to Tony put in a cab and being driven off] 

  Sam Axe : What the hell was that?

  Jesse Porter : The story? Michael mentioned it.

  Sam Axe : No, it's not just a story. This is *me*! It's my *real life*! I don't pimp my past to bad guys, you understand?

  Jesse Porter : [as Sam walks off angry]  It worked, didn't it?

  [Blur-wipe to the house, Jesse looks over some paperwork] 

  Jesse Porter : Bingo. Bingo.

  Jesse Porter : [dials Michael with cellphone]  Hey, Michael, it's Jesse. I need to talk to you, man.

  Michael Westen : Yeah, I heard what happened with Sam. Word to the wise: stay out of his war stories from now on.

  Jesse Porter : Come on, man, the guy's an ex-Navy SEAL. He's probably told that story a million times.

  Michael Westen : That's not the point, Jesse.

  Jesse Porter : You know, okay. Point taken. Point taken. That's not why I called. Listen, I think I found Cobra's warehouse at the airport.

• Michael Westen : [narrative]  One reason it's tough to pull off the perfect crime is destroying evidence leaves its own evidence. If a section of floor has been cleaned with a powerful surfactant, it sticks out like a drop of bleach on a shirt, begging the question, "What did someone go to so much trouble to clean?"

• Sam Axe : All right, we're on the clock here. Three minutes from the time we breach the fence to the time we drive out. Anything goes wrong, we scatter and regroup.

  Tony Caro : [thumb up]  Roger that.

  Sam Axe : [into radio]  Road team set?

  Michael Westen : [into headset]  Set.

  Sam Axe : [into radio]  Perimeter team, set?

  Michael Westen : [gruffly into headset]  Set.

  Sam Axe : [into radio]  Sniper team, set?

  Michael Westen : [into headset, southern accent]  Set. I got eyes on secruity. South side of the building.

  Sam Axe : [over radio]  Take the shot; give them a flat tire as they come around the corner.

  Michael Westen : [into headset]  Roger that.

  [Michael shoots out the left front tire] 

  Michael Westen : [over radio]  Security car disabled.

  Sam Axe : [into radio]  Copy that.

  Sam Axe : Okay, we're good to go.

  Michael Westen : [narrative as Fi breaches the fence]  If you're cutting through a high-powered electric fence, you need more than rubber gloves and a pair of thick-soled shoes. Covering a fence with spray-on insulation and using a set of fiberglass-handled bolt cutters will keep you from lighting up like a Christmas tree.

  [they go through the fence, around a truck] 

  Michael Westen : [into headset]  Hold on, there. All right, you're clear.

  [they proceed unseen by the security car detail] 

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  A shaped charge large enough to go through a wall is also large enough to let everyone for several miles know what you're doing. A smaller charge can be just as useful and a lot less noisy. A hydraulic spreader puts out enough pressure to rip a door off a humvee. Placed correctly, it will make short work of reinforced concrete.

• Michael Westen : [narrative]  A spy's job is to get into the head of his adversary, to know how he'll behave and use it against him, but human behavior is about as predictable as the weather. Sometimes the most hardened criminal can decide to be noble at the most inconvenient time.

• Michael Westen : [narrative]  Creating the *illusion* of force is one of the oldest tricks in warfare. The rise of the private security guard has made it a lot easier. Post a job opening on the Internet in the morning, and by lunch, you can have a whole platoon of muscular guys in black blazers.

  Fiona Glenanne : 17-inch arms?

  [man nods] 

  Fiona Glenanne : Huh. Lose the jacket. Let me see 'em.

  [he bares his right arm and flexes it] 

  Fiona Glenanne : Hmm. You've got a job.

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  Hire some heavy-duty SUVs to put your "security force" in place...

  Fiona Glenanne : Next!

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  ... and it'll look just like you've got troops ready for battle.

• Michael Westen : [narrative]  Military leaders since the city-states of Greece have known that a tried and tested method for getting rid of an adversary is to provoke him to attack a more powerful enemy. Provide an ambitious adversary with the backing of a seemingly invincible army, and he's bound to go hunting for even his toughest rival.

  [after Tony confronts Gio at gunpoint, Jesse recalls the SUVs and Sam pulls out] 

  Michael Westen : [narrative]  Making sure your adversary is eliminated... then becomes about pulling that backing once he's declared war on his rival... when it's too late for him to take it all back.

• Jesse Porter : About a year ago, I'm workin' for the Defense Department. Get wind of some nasty business - bombings, assassinations, kidnappings, you name it - it was global, but it looked like there was a pattern to me.

  Michael Westen : Is that what brought you down to Miami?

  Jesse Porter : Yeah. Yeah, I was looking at weapons supply lines into the hottest spots, found a connection right here at the port. A lot of guns coming off of ships that passed through Algeria.

  Sam Axe : You got a source?

  Jesse Porter : I made contact with a guy shippin' artillery for one of the operations, told him I wanted to move some guns of my own.

  Fiona Glenanne : Did you get a name or a face?

  Jesse Porter : Only spoke on the phone. He had this, uh... this trippy voice. It was like...

  Jesse Porter : [imitating]  ... sort of like a low hiss.

  Jesse Porter : It was weird, so I called him Cobra.

  Sam Axe : Cobra?

  Sam Axe : [laughs]  I'm sorry. That's just a - a crappy code name.

  Jesse Porter : Oh. Well, maybe you can make up the code names when it's *your* investigation. How about that? So, I was supposed to meet up with him a couple weeks ago. He didn't show up. Now, I don't know if he got cold feet or what, but if we can find him, we can crack this thing wide open.

  Michael Westen : Looks like we're gonna spend some time down on the docks.

  Sam Axe : Now, hold on, Mike, this sounds dangerous. Before you sign us up for this mission, I want to ask our friend here a very important question. What kind of snacks do you like?

• Sam Axe : If we can get him to do some dirty work himself, we can get him busted for somethin' his fed buddies can't get him out of.

  Michael Westen : Sounds like he needs a little push. He knows *me*, Sam.

  Sam Axe : I think it's time for him to meet Chuck Finley. Now, *that's* a code name.

• Michael Westen : Well, if it *is* Cobra's hanger, he's not here now. I wish he was so we could ask *him* what *he* thinks of the code name "Cobra".

• [last lines] 

  [Michael opens the gate to his place, sees Madeline waiting for him by the steps] 

  Michael Westen : Mom, you came to visit? What's the occasion?

  Madeline Westen : The occasion? How about what you did to Jesse?

  Michael Westen : I don't know what he told you...

  Madeline Westen : He didn't tell me anything, except that he lost his job last month.

  Michael Westen : And you think I have something to do with that?

  Madeline Westen : [getting red with anger]  Michael, just stop! I was there when you decided to join the Army, and I remember the look on your face when you had to tell your brother about it, how you felt like you were betraying him by leaving him behind with your father. And you had the *same* look on your face when you brought Jesse around! I knew you did this kind of stuff, but seeing it up close and personal like this is...

  Michael Westen : You know, you have no idea how delicate of a situation I'm in. There are things you don't know, things I can't talk about, things I can't explain.

  Madeline Westen : Oh, please. I'm not gonna give away your secret, Michael. I just want to know how you can pretend to be his friend.

  Michael Westen : I *am* his friend! I'm the best friend he *has* right now!

  Michael Westen : [yelling]  I'm *helping* him!

  Madeline Westen : [yelling]  You're *lying* to him! Take it from me, *lies get out*!

  Madeline Westen : Thirty years with your father taught me that.

  [She walks past him and away, leaving him alone and mute]