Community (TV Series)
Anthropology 101 (2010)
Chevy Chase: Pierce Hawthorne
Photos
Quotes
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Troy Barnes : Abed, Jeff made out with Annie.
Abed Nadir : What? When, where?
Britta Perry : [angry] Yeah, where?
Pierce Hawthorne : That's inappropriate. I'm assuming on the mouth.
Annie Edison : It was after the Transfer Dance.
Britta Perry : Oh, so I tell you that I love you, and you go outside and stick your tongue into a teenager!
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Pierce Hawthorne : Wait, I'm "Old White Man Says"? No wonder he says everything I'm thinking.
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Shirley Bennett : Clearly, the most important tool is the cross, representing Christianity.
Abed Nadir : It's an ax.
Shirley Bennett : It's an ax?
Troy Barnes : Maybe the telescope. Look through it backwards, shrink your enemies.
Pierce Hawthorne : I'll show you the tool that's most important to our survival, but fair warning, it's my penis.
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Britta Perry : And I owe you an apology.
Pierce Hawthorne : I accept.
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Jeff Winger : Did someone throw urine in my face?
Pierce Hawthorne : I surprise myself under pressure.
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Pierce Hawthorne : Now that Troy's off the streets and living with me, he's learning about the world.
Troy Barnes : Yeah. Tell me again why Jewish people wear yarmulkes.
Pierce Hawthorne : Half a hat, saves money.
[Annie's agape in disbelief]
Troy Barnes : Thank you.
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Pierce Hawthorne : I'll show you the tool that's most important to our survival, but fair warning, it's my penis.
[chuckles]
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Señor Chang : Guys? I've got a confession to make, I took Anthropology because I wanna be a part of your study group.
[overlapping responses]
Señor Chang : Now I gotta do the honest thing and just ask. Is there any room in this pocket for a little spare Chang?
Jeff Winger : Uh... look, we've been through a lot today. Umm... give us a little time to think it over.
Señor Chang : Totally, man. Just think about it. Take your time and let me know.
Shirley Bennett : Nice to see you, Chang.
Pierce Hawthorne : Bye.
Abed Nadir : See ya.
Annie Edison : Hey.
Señor Chang : Bye.
Annie Edison : Aww. Poor guy.
Jeff Winger : We'll let him in eventually.
Pierce Hawthorne : Says who?
Jeff Winger : We have the strength to survive anything. What's the worst that can happen?
Shirley Bennett : Yeah, that's true.
Troy Barnes : Yeah.
Abed Nadir : Good point.
Señor Chang : [cut to dual personality Chang]
[mean voice]
Señor Chang : I told you they hate you.
[normal voice]
Señor Chang : No, they said they just needed more time.
[mean voice]
Señor Chang : Time? They destroyed your life. How much time before we take revenge?
[pleading normal voice]
Señor Chang : But, they're my friends.
[mean voice]
Señor Chang : I'm your only friend.
[normal voice]
Señor Chang : No.
[mean voice cackles]
Señor Chang : hahaha!
[frantic normal voice]
Señor Chang : No.
[mean voice cackles]
Señor Chang : hahahaha!
[wailing normal voice]
Señor Chang : No!
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Pierce Hawthorne : [referring to Troy] He thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls!
Troy Barnes : There's no way to disprove that; have you ever seen a cat penis?