Community (TV Series)

Mixology Certification (2010)

Tig Notaro: Bartender

Photos 

Quotes 

• Annie Edison : I followed that band Phish, spells it with a P-H. I just lived in parking lots, wherever they played. I don't even like their music, just did it to see if I could. Guess what. I could.

  Bartender : So, what now?

  Annie Edison : I don't know. Even if I planned it, plans just fall off me like chicken crap off an armadillo. Annie's the one that plans things, not me. Annie's my friend. She goes to school here. Thinks she's got it all figured out. She wants to major in health care management. What does that even mean?

  Bartender : No idea.

  Annie Edison : I'll tell you what it means. It means a master's degree. Followed by an internship. She's got the next 15 years of her life all mapped out and all she's gotta do now is just follow it or screw it up.

  Bartender : Another soda?

  Annie Edison : Actually, give me a screwdriver. I got no place to be. What am I... Annie?

• Annie Edison : So I punched her, right in the face.

  Bartender : Your probation officer? Didn't you get in trouble?

  Annie Edison : Hell, yes, I got in trouble! Wasn't the first time. Won't be the last. I'm not exactly known for my sound judgment. Back in Corpus Christi, they call me Capricious Caroline.

  Bartender : What's capricious mean?

  Annie Edison : It probably means I'm too busy living life to be learning $5 words. Ha-ha! Hot damn!