Community (TV Series)

Mixology Certification (2010)

Alison Brie: Annie Edison

Photos 

Quotes 

• Pierce Hawthorne , Shirley Bennett , Abed Nadir , Britta Perry , Jeff Winger , Annie Edison : [cold opening]  ... to you!

  Pierce Hawthorne : That was weird. How come we only sang the last two words? What happened to the "happy birthday" part?

  Shirley Bennett : Well, you know Troy's a Jehovah's Witness. He doesn't celebrate birthdays.

  Abed Nadir : Annie and I did our best to keep the language on the cake compliant.

  Troy Barnes : [reading the cake]  "Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically from your expulsion from a uterus."

  [inhales, weepy voice cracks] 

  Troy Barnes : You guys. I never cry, but...

  Britta Perry : All right. Happy expulsion, Troy. But after cake, we cram for realsies. Guys, finals are coming up.

  Jeff Winger : Yeah. This group is starting to use special occasions to avoid studying.

• Annie Edison : Troy's birthday is tomorrow, December 4th. Also born that day, Tyra Banks, Marisa Tomei and French cinematographer Claude Renoir.

  Troy Barnes : Yes, jackpot.

• Annie Edison : I followed that band Phish, spells it with a P-H. I just lived in parking lots, wherever they played. I don't even like their music, just did it to see if I could. Guess what. I could.

  Bartender : So, what now?

  Annie Edison : I don't know. Even if I planned it, plans just fall off me like chicken crap off an armadillo. Annie's the one that plans things, not me. Annie's my friend. She goes to school here. Thinks she's got it all figured out. She wants to major in health care management. What does that even mean?

  Bartender : No idea.

  Annie Edison : I'll tell you what it means. It means a master's degree. Followed by an internship. She's got the next 15 years of her life all mapped out and all she's gotta do now is just follow it or screw it up.

  Bartender : Another soda?

  Annie Edison : Actually, give me a screwdriver. I got no place to be. What am I... Annie?

• Annie Edison : So I punched her, right in the face.

  Bartender : Your probation officer? Didn't you get in trouble?

  Annie Edison : Hell, yes, I got in trouble! Wasn't the first time. Won't be the last. I'm not exactly known for my sound judgment. Back in Corpus Christi, they call me Capricious Caroline.

  Bartender : What's capricious mean?

  Annie Edison : It probably means I'm too busy living life to be learning $5 words. Ha-ha! Hot damn!

• Shirley Bennett : I... I'm gonna... I'm gonna go take a little look around.

  Annie Edison : Me too.

  Jeff Winger : Annie, don't accept any drinks.

  Britta Perry : Or invitations to the bathroom.

• Pierce Hawthorne : Funny, because last week was my birthday and nobody noticed and nobody cared.

  [Shirley looks away] 

  Jeff Winger : [Abed, Annie and Britta look to Jeff]  Pierce... you don't remember the huge party we threw? We need to talk about those painkillers you're taking because I don't think you remember anything...

  [overlapping comments] 

  Britta Perry : That was a huge party, you were like...

  [overlapping comments] 

  Annie Edison : The best party of my life

  [overlapping comments] 

  Abed Nadir : Nutritious

  [overlapping comments] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : Got you!

  [chuckles] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : Of course I remember my birthday. What a party.

  Troy Barnes : Yeah, you still owe me for the keg deposit.

  [chuckles] 

  Pierce Hawthorne : Oh, you think I don't know that?

  Britta Perry : [through clenched teeth, shakes her head]  Troy...

  [Troy nods his head in acknowledgement] 

  Jeff Winger : Troy.

  [Jeff smiles and gives thumbs up] 

  Jeff Winger : [Troy reciprocates] 

• Annie Edison : [Annie's waiting tables]  Hey, y'all. 'Nother round for ya. Everybody holding up? I'll be back in two shakes of a rabbit's ass.

  Jeff Winger : Who the hell was that?