- Principal Moss: Sure gonna be different sleeping in a place where bells don't go off every 50 minutes.
- Bill Dauterive: Are you the same Katie Calhoun who was Miss March 1978?
- Katie: Why yes I am.
- Hank Hill: Oh God!
- Bill Dauterive: Turn-ons: Kurt Vonnegut junior and mopeds. Turn-offs: War. Do you still miniature golf in the nude, or was that just for the picture?
- Katie: Wow, you really remember.
- Bill Dauterive: I have a memory for things I look at all the time.
- Bill Dauterive: I was watching TV last night and I figured out what was missing from my life.
- Dale Gribble: Everything, except the TV?
- Principal Moss: [standing in his underwear cooking eggs over a Bunsen burner] I didn't hear the bell. Is it first period already.