The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (TV Series)

How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall? (2022)

Rachel Brosnahan: Miriam 'Midge' Maisel

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Lenny Bruce : I hear you turned down the Bennett gig.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Yeah. I did.

  Lenny Bruce : Said you wouldn't even come to the phone.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Well, that was more Susie, but yes.

  Lenny Bruce : Okay. Let's put aside for a moment that I went to bat for you for that job. I mean, really. I turned down their price three times. No, she can't work for that. Do you have any idea what you're getting here? That's on me. You didn't ask me to do that, so I'm the schmuck there.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Lenny...

  Lenny Bruce : But I couldn't really figure out why, so I asked around. I don't know, were you being blacklisted again? Did the Baldwin thing hurt you that much? I'm at Carnegie Hall. I've got five minutes where maybe I can help you before I'm thrown out of the club again. But then I heard that you were turning down gigs right and left.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : I made a decision to do things my way.

  Lenny Bruce : I'm sorry, what does that mean?

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : It means I just want to say what I want to say. Why am I explaining this to you?

  Lenny Bruce : Why? Because my fucking mind is blown, that's why.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : I don't understand.

  Lenny Bruce : No opening act gigs.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Yes.

  Lenny Bruce : That's true?

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Yes, that's true. I told you about the manifesto.

  Lenny Bruce : Do you understand that this is a business? Like anything else. You get hired, you get paid. You understand that?

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Yes, but...

  Lenny Bruce : And the trick is to get good and get paid.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : I get paid at the Wolford.

  Lenny Bruce : Oh, come on. One thing you are not is dumb.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Wait a minute, you never compromise. You get up on stage knowing the police could be there, or hell, that they are there. And you say whatever the hell it is you want anyhow. Why is it wrong for me to want to do the very same thing?

  Lenny Bruce : Jesus Christ, Midge, what a fucking pedestal you put me on. Getting arrested is not a badge of honor. Getting arrested means I can't work where I want to work. People are afraid of booking me. It's exactly the opposite of what I want for myself.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : But...

  Lenny Bruce : Do you know how much I hate knowing that half the people that come to see me are hoping I'm gonna get popped? Hoping they'll have some great story to tell their friends over cheese and crackers? I want people to fucking laugh. Think and laugh, sure, but laugh. I'm a comic. An entertainer. Baggy pants, banana peels. I'm not the stand-up messiah.

  [gestures towards the audience] 

  Lenny Bruce : This is what I want. This is what I have worked for. Don't you want this? Don't you want to be here? Don't you want to know a thousand mental patients braved a fucking snowstorm to see you? That should be the goal.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : How do you know it's not?

  Lenny Bruce : Because you're not gonna get here hiding yourself away in a club that technically doesn't exist.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : I'm not hiding.

  Lenny Bruce : You sure as fuck are hiding. So what you got dumped by Baldwin, who gives a shit? Go get another gig. And another and another.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : So I'm just supposed to get fired from one job after another?

  Lenny Bruce : Yes. If that's what it takes. Listen to me. I have made a lot of mistakes and I am gonna keep making a lot of mistakes. But one thing is crystal clear in my mind and it's what the endgame is.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : Oh, really? So that's what the bag in your...

  Lenny Bruce : No. Do not make this about me. This is about you. You wanted me to remember you're funny, right? That night? You didn't want me to think of you as just a girl, you wanted me to think of you as a comic. Well don't you forget that I'm a comic too. Don't you dare look at me as someone to be pitied or helped or fixed. I do not want or need that, especially from you.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : I don't want to fix you...

  Lenny Bruce : Ninety percent of this game is how they see you. They see you hanging with Tony Bennett, they think you deserve to be there. They see you hauled off to jail for saying fuck at a strip club, they think you deserve that also. Wise up.

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : [beat]  I'm not hiding. I have a plan.

  Lenny Bruce : Don't plan! Work! Just work and keep working. There is a moment in this business, window's open. If you miss it, it closes. Just don't... If you blow this Midge, I swear...

  [begins to walk away and turns back to Midge, his eyes full of tears] 

  Lenny Bruce : You will break my fucking heart.

  [leaves] 

• Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : What am I not important enough to go through all that trouble for?

  [laughing playfully] 

  Lenny Bruce , Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : You

  [Leaning forward] 

  Lenny Bruce , Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : are more important than God.

  [Quoting her from her act] 

  Miriam 'Midge' Maisel : [Shocked]  You paid attention.

  Lenny Bruce : To you?

  [All serious] 

  Lenny Bruce : Always.