Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis (TV Series)

Jimmy Kimmel (2008)

Zach Galifianakis: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Himself - Host : [to the camera]  Hi my name is Zach Galifianakis, welcome to Between Two Ferns, with me today is "Timmy Kimballs", Jimmy thank you for joining me here

  Jimmy Kimmel : thanks for having me

  Himself - Host : you're a late-night talk show host, what's it like to be in the late night "business"?

  Jimmy Kimmel : I mean it's great, you know, it's like something I always wanted to do, I'd watch Letterman, it's really like a dream come true

  Himself - Host : have you ever farted on a Cocker Spaniel?

  Jimmy Kimmel : [shaking his head]  no, I can't say that I have

  Himself - Host : do you want a beer?

  Jimmy Kimmel : thanks

  [as Zach reaches on the floor on right side of his chair and takes out a big glass bottle of beer and puts it closer to him on the table, takes out a smaller bottle of beer and puts it on the table closer to Jimmy] 

  Jimmy Kimmel : [referring to bigger bottle of beer, Zach is trying to open it]  it seems like that one was already open

  Jimmy Kimmel : thanks

  [opens Jimmy's beer with a bottle opener] 

  Himself - Host : I thought we'd loosen up a little a bit

  Jimmy Kimmel : [after having a sip of beer]  it's nice and warm, just the way I like it

  Himself - Host : [after taking off his socks by rubbing his feet together, referring to taking off his shoes and socks]  you can't do that on your show?

  Jimmy Kimmel : [while Zach chugs his beer]  yeah, I could, I mean there's no rule against it, it's not something I would do

  Himself - Host : [crossing his arms]  your girlfriend Sarah Silverman, what's that like?

  Jimmy Kimmel : people always ask do you guys just crack each other up? they ask that all the time and that just gets tiring

  Himself - Host : [after chugging his beer, intentionally irritating him]  you and Sarah, Sarah being a comedian, you guys just crack each other up at home and stuff?

  Jimmy Kimmel : [chuckles, rubs his chin] 

  Himself - Host : I'd like to go to Long John Silvers and be shocked on how much the prices are, and just look at the cashier and say "only in New York"

  Jimmy Kimmel : [nods]  uh huh

  Jimmy Kimmel : [amused]  uh huh

  Himself - Host : maybe you and Sarah could do something like that?

  Jimmy Kimmel : yeah, well she doesn't like fish

  Himself - Host : [smirks, remains silent, stretches his legs] 

  Jimmy Kimmel : what?

• Himself - Host : I know what that means

  Jimmy Kimmel : [confused]  what?

  Himself - Host : [doubting him]  yeah

  Himself - Host : [leans forward and taps on Jimmy's knee]  that's good man "doesn't like fish"

  Himself - Host : there's a "been Affleck" thing you did

  Jimmy Kimmel : a what?

  Himself - Host : "been Affleck"

  Jimmy Kimmel : oh, Ben Affleck

  Himself - Host : [while grabbing onto his bottle of beer]  how close did you get to Ben Affleck's lips?

  Jimmy Kimmel : I got pretty close to him

  Himself - Host : did you ever do takes when you're closer to his lips?

  Jimmy Kimmel : closer than the ones that were on the video?

  Himself - Host : yeah in the rehearsals and stuff

  Jimmy Kimmel : [amused]  no

  Himself - Host : [leans forward, seductively]  you got "girl lips"

  Jimmy Kimmel : [amused]  thank you

  Himself - Host : [seductively]  yeah, you're welcome

  Himself - Host : sorry, we gotta have a little word from our sponsor

  Barry the Banana Man : [camera points to a man in a life-size banana costume off screen]  hi I'm Barry, from Barry's bananas, bananas so good, other "bananas" enjoy them

  Himself - Host : [to Jimmy]  sorry

  Barry the Banana Man : our bananas are so delicious I guarantee you'll peel them a part

  Himself - Host : [shouts from his chair]  Enough! This isn't "between two bananas"

  Himself - Host : [while going through his notes]  he's going on and on about bananas

  Himself - Host : [to Jimmy]  do you like bananas?

  [segment ends]