- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: So, exactly what happened?
- Jason: Um, well, we were at Paul's birthday party at the, uh, at the pizza place. And uh, me and Lauren took a step outside to, uh, get some fresh air. And she was making fun of me because I watch "Victorious" on Nickelodeon. But Victoria Justice is hot, right? So I said that, she got this crinkly face, and then I said "But not as hot as you." Then, uh, then she smiled. Then I planted one on her. And, uh, then there was tongue.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: About the body, kid.
- Jason: Oh, her - her body was slamming.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: The dead body.
- Jason: Uh, yeah. That - that kind of sucked. Because it was my first kiss.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: They get better.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What about you, David? When do you feel like showering?
- Ziva David: After just about any conversation with you, Tony.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Liver?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Spleen.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Of course.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Interest?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: "Psycho".
- Jimmy Palmer: Aren't they all?
- [Palmer chortles]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: The movie, Palmer. Disgruntled employee steals from the office on the way out of town. Stops for a little while and winds up dead, just like Marion Crane in "Psycho".
- Jimmy Palmer: Spoiler alert, okay? Haven't seen it.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You've had fifty years to catch up on the story of Norman Bates!
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Time to hit the showers.
- Ziva David: Is your shower not working?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Why? Do I smell?
- Ziva David: I cannot smell you from there.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: And you're part bloodhound.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I shower 3 times a week... like Brad Pitt. Preserves my natural aroma.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Boy, Director Vance wasn't kidding about making changes.
- Ziva David: We are going to lose some people
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Elevator door opens revealing Gibbs] We already have. NCIS investigative assistant found dead in the garage. Good you got your gear. Come on, let's go.
- [Everyone enters the elevator]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Somebody stinks.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You would've made a great director, boss.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, well, already got one of those.
- Leon Vance: You knocked.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Trying to stay on your good side.
- Leon Vance: What? Is that so hard?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Well, it has been - lately.
- Leona Phelps: If I have to play another damn game of volleyball, I'm gonna strangle someone.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Well, that'd be good. Get you a nice room in supermax.
- Leona Phelps: Yet another cheap suit Hellbent on railroading me into a conviction. And they say money is supposed to buy justice.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Clearly can't buy class.
- Leona Phelps: [to Gibbs] Am I talking to you or your acid tongued little errand boy?
- Ziva David: You know it seems unfair, you get to go home for giving us the name of a man who was recently murdered.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Deal's a deal, Ziva.
- Leona Phelps: You gotta muzzle your pups, Gibbs. They all seem to have a problem with barking.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: No, this one's problem is definitely her bite.
- Leona Phelps: You want money. I understand. I can get you money.
- Ruleo Medilla: I do, but more than that - I want your blood.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You know, I was offered your job. I turned it down.
- NCIS Special Agent Erica Jane 'EJ' Barrett: Thank you. Towel please.
- [DiNozzo hands her a towel]
- NCIS Special Agent Erica Jane 'EJ' Barrett: So why would you do that?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I wanted this team. Here in DC. The varsity.
- NCIS Special Agent Erica Jane 'EJ' Barrett: How'd Gibbs feel about that?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well, he left. Gave it to me. You know, I was pretty good at it. I mean, I made a couple of... rookie mistakes. But... I was figuring it out.
- Leon Vance: [Gibbs enters his office after knocking] You knocked.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Trying to stay on your good side.
- Leon Vance: What, is that so hard?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Well, it has been lately.
- Leon Vance: Do you have an update on the assistant?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: He helped himself to property he was supposed to be processing, including Leona Phelps.
- Leon Vance: Leona Phelps is considered the Madoff of the Navy. She ran the National Armed Forced Credit Union until she segued to the private sector. She built what basically turned out to be a financial house of cards.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Finding Gibbs in the warehouse] Hey boss, couldn't call ahead?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Nope. I came in the same way they came in. The heist isn't coming. The already pulled it off.
- Leona Phelps: I was robbed?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Would you like to file a claim?
- Leona Phelps: Against you? For damages? Sure.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: No, for you loss. We'll need to know what was in there.
- Leon Vance: You think this could be a case of wrong place at the wrong time?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I'll let you know.
- [Starts to leave]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Leon, any of these personnel decisions affect my team?
- Leon Vance: I'll let you know.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Do you need any help with the...
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I can play a DVD, McGee.
- Leon Vance: [to Agent Barret] When they've got all the information they can gather about the victim, I'd like him to come back here with you. You been able to find everything
- [Gibbs enters Vance's office]
- Leon Vance: Thank you, E.J.
- [Barret leaves]
- Leon Vance: That didn't last long - knocking on my door.