- George Burns: Gracie, why does your mother ask you to do her shopping here? Aren't there any stores up in San Francisco?
- Gracie Allen: Well sure, but I can't keep running up there every time she wants something.
- George Burns: I'm going down to the store to get some cigars and stamps.
- Gracie Allen: Oh, who are you gonna mail them to?
- George Burns: I'm gonna smoke them myself.
- Gracie Allen: Oh.
- George Burns: Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm gonna smoke stamps?
- Gracie Allen: Why should I? I've done one or two silly things in my life too!
- Blanche Morton: Harry, I think it's very nice of George to let them stay there. It's more than you would do.
- Harry Morton: Blanche, what did you have in mind?
- Blanche Morton: Well, I thought it would be nice if my brother came down.
- Harry Morton: With what?
- Blanche Morton: You're just mad at my brother because you had to pay a dental bill for him once. It was only eighty dollars. Besides, anybody could have trouble with his teeth.
- Harry Morton: Well he wouldn't if he'd learn to open beer bottles with an opener!
- Blanche Morton: You just don't like anybody in my family. Take my mother, she was here for a whole month and you didn't say one single word to her!
- Harry Morton: I didn't want to interrupt her.
- Blanche Morton: Don't know why I had to marry you.
- Harry Morton: I know why. You wanted a handsome, intelligent man who was gonna amount to something.
- Blanche Morton: I know, but answer my question. Why did I marry you?
- Pete: Who's the nice looking old guy who lives in the white house on the corner?
- Gracie Allen: Oh, that's Mr. Henderson. He lives there alone with his dog.
- Pete: Does he bite?
- Gracie Allen: No, he's a nice old man, he wouldn't hurt a fly!
- Perry: He meant the dog.
- Gracie Allen: No, he wouldn't do that. The dog might bite him back!
- Perry: You have a lot of interesting neighbors around here.
- Gracie Allen: Yes, especially the ones who live in the neighborhood.
- Gracie Allen: I was just talking to Mr. Henderson a little while ago, and he told me the Vanderlips' silver had been stolen and his dog was missing. So I said, "Oh Mr. Henderson, that's silly. I'm sure your dog didn't steal the Vanderlips' silverware!"
- Perry: Say Gracie, we were wondering, where's your wall safe?
- Gracie Allen: Where's my wall safe? Well, it's safe everyplace. The ceiling's a little weak though.