Jason Weinberg: Doug

Quotes 

• Alan : An advertising company offered him 200,000 dollars to be...

  George : [George interrupts]  To be the main character in a series of television commercials.

  Alan : Thank you.

  Doug : Oouh! Well, what product?

  Alan : That's the interesting part.

  George : The interesting part is The Money. Thank you, Alan. Thank you very much.

  Doug : Wow! What's the product thou?

  George : The product is irrelevant. The fact is that is pass on a 200,000 dollar offer.

  Doug : OK, OK. But what's the product? Just tell me.

  George : Are you fucking parrots? Tell me the product, tell me the product. The point is that I refused to take 200,000 dollars and sell myself as a commody.

  Doug : So you only brought it up so you could brag about your personal integrity?

  George : I'm not bragging!

  Doug : Well, why did you bring it up, if you passed?

  George : I thought you'd be interested.

  Doug : I am interested... in the product. Was it a car?

  [George says No] 

  Doug : Pizza?

  George : Alan, I am busy. OK?

  Doug : Was it a laxative?

  Alan : He is getting warm.

  George : He's not getting warm. He's getting out.

  Doug : A laxative is warm?

  Alan : Yes.

  [at the same time George says No] 

  Doug : I am gonna go out on a limb here. Was it a stool softener?

  [Alan says Bingo] 

  Doug : Fuck. You got offered 200,000 dollars to be the face of a stool softener? Was your face the part of your anatomy that they would use?

  George : Thank you very much for joining me this afternoon... and allowing me to share this with you. OK? Would you please fuck off and go out there.

  [Doug says Sure] 

  George : If you happened to die on your way out that would be help. OK?