How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Natural History (2010)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Captain : I hear my wife got you pretty good.

  Ted Mosby : She caught me on tape trashing GNB.

  The Captain : Ohh that damn recorder... Try being married to that. You're a good guy Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville. Tell you what, when Zoey goes to sleep, I'll find that tape and erase it for you, no hard feelings.

  Ted Mosby : Really? You'd do that to your own wife?

  The Captain : Sure, why not? I mean, I'm glad she has these little causes, they keep her out of trouble, but... When she throws a temper tantrum and it gets in the way of someone doing their job, that's a problem.

  Ted Mosby : No, you know what? Don't erase the tape. And for what it's worth, I don't think she's throwing temper tantrums. I just think she's standing up for what she believes in. I respect that.

  Narrator : Kids, there is an amazing architectural phenomenon in the Natural History Museum. If you stand in the right spot, you can hear a conversation, all the way across the room.

  [See Zoey has heard the entire conversation] 

• Ted Mosby : Oh my God, you have a monocle! Is this real? Is this really happening? Good luck killing James Bond.

• Zoey Pierson : Ted, this is my husband.

  Ted Mosby : So Captain, how did you get that name?

  The Captain : I gave it to myself. A real man chooses his real name.

  Ted Mosby : Well, pleased to meet you, Captain. I'm Galactic President Superstar MacAwesomeville.

• Ted Mosby : If I wanted to make it personal, I'd call you a bored little trophy wife who likes to play activist when the shops on Fifth Ave are closed.

  Zoey Pierson : You're going down.

  Ted Mosby : Down where? To the yacht club? I'd love to, but wait I'm half Jewish, is that going to be a problem?

• Zoey Pierson : My life isn't perfect.

  [Zoey begins to cry] 

  Zoey Pierson : I got married at 22 to a man who calls himself "The Captain". I hate boats, Ted. I do, I hate them. I can't be on them, I can't be near them, I can't even think about them without getting seasick. You want to know why I want to save that building? Because when I look up at the Arcadian, I see something big, and solid, and right now everything else in my life just feels like I'm on a boat. I know it's crazy to care that much about a building...

  Ted Mosby : It's not crazy at all, I'm the same way. Look, Zoey, the Arcadian should be a landmark, it should. The lion-head stonework is iconic. I hate that we have to tear it down, I hate working for GNB. They're a bunch of wieners and gonads.

  Zoey Pierson : Ted, that was... really easy.

  [Pulls out a voice recorder] 

  Zoey Pierson : This should be useful.

  Ted Mosby : You tricked me!